Quick check-in. Not much internet access where I am. But surprisingly (or maybe not) I found ways to act out. So I found a way to reach out and connect. Hope everyone is well. Be"H next week we'll be back to normal.
KOT everyone!!

Reaching out is important. So is reaching in - how are you feeling?

what's up doc mac?

hi, are you dressing up as a Maccabee on purim?

Rumor has it, Dov refuses to wear a mask even on Purim, claims it will hurt his sobriety. And when he's drunk he shouts, I'm DOV! Do you hear? DOV! WHAT'S YOUR NAME!

tzaddik90 wrote on 01 Mar 2011 16:16:


hmmm...Doc Mac
I'll have to think about that one...

I don't know Zem, it's a great idea and I'm actually considering doing it, but then you'll be able to spot me from a mile away.

Something I wrote up during a contemplative moment.

The idea of admitting powerlessness and submitting to Hashem does not only mean realizing that this will kill me. It means realizing that I do not have the ability to lust. My day does not have room for it. My life doesn't have room for it. My loved ones don't have room for it.
So the moment I start grappling with lust and start calling out that I'm in trouble I've already crossed the line. I'm trying to control my lust. I'm trying to be in control. I'm not admitting powerlessness.
When a triggering image draws my attention, the reaction shouldn't be "Oh No! This is triggering I'm going to fall I need to call out!" that's already giving the image power over me. And I am using out my power over myself to become attracted to it.
Rather, if I see something triggering I should turn away and not give it the time of day to take rent in my brain. It's not in my capacity to become lustful today.

Hopefully I'll be able to make this more and more of a reality. One day at a time.

Thanks Dov for helping me realize this!

...and I will up the ante!

Recently, walking in the park with my child, I spotted a trigger on my right side. My eyes went to the left. The YH planted an appetizer on that side too! I averted my eyes, took out my cell phone, and called a dear friend from GYE/(SA).

Although I could only speak in vague terms (due to my offspring who was at my side), he understood my message. There was no need for him to reply. The Lust left me like a popped balloon. Gone. No more. Blessed be Rage's Oberkomandant of The Universe!


The two of you realized the point. This time I merited to actually LIVE it!  (How many times did we have a fantasy scenario in our minds which we wished we would have a chance to REALLY experience? That is how I felt afterwards!)

David/Rage wrote on 02 Mar 2011 19:38:


David/Rage wrote on 10 Feb 2011 14:35:


:-\ :-\ :-\

Yosef

Can you answer something for me? Recently I went on a diet. Last week I was by a simcha and I saw a really yummy piece of cake, but because I'm on a diet I controlled my temptation and I didn't eat it. It never occurred to me to call my wife and describe my temptation, etc. And had I called her she would have thought it a little strange.

So if you feel you would be unable to withstand your temptation without calling your sponsor. To tell him what? That you are powerless to withstand temptation? Does that make you an addict? In my dictionary it defines addict as:

Addiction is an uncontrollable compulsion to repeat a behavior regardless of its negative consequences. A person who is addicted is sometimes called an addict.

So help me out here are you an addict or just a bit odd?

Me3 wrote on 02 Mar 2011 20:00:

if your wife was your sponsor and you were in OA i think it would be pretty standard to call her, no?

I completely agree, but since I'm not in OA, it would not be normal. I'm asking YH because professes not to be an addict.

ok

but there is much to be said about sharing a struggle with a like-minded friend, like in support groups, regardless of being defined one way or the other.
if you would call a guy you know out of the blue and tell him about the kokosh cake that was waving at you and calling your name he might think it odd. but if you have a friend who struggles with the same issue and knows you do as well and you both realize the benefit of strength in numbers, why would it be odd?

p.s. next time you see the cake at the wedding you can me, i can use chizuk in cake-abstinence as well

David/Rage wrote on 02 Mar 2011 17:18:


I am ashamed to admit, this is actually true. But sometimes I insist my name is Latka.