Dov,
In response to your valid point. Yes and no. Yes, because at the very core of the issue you are indeed correct. No, and let me quote Maccabee:
Meaning I thought subconsciously that by returning the computer I would make up for using it act out.
In respect to what Maccabee thinks, the YH is attempting to convince him that this occurrence is an unrelated event in respect to his recovery. While like you said, that may be true, at this stage in the game it is still a relevant factor in the mind games that the YH plays with an addict. Yes the problem is not the computer, it is the person himself. However, in order to be able to defeat the YH one must remove all of his weapons from within his vicinity. In this case the YH saw this happening and stepped in to remind him that: A) he is still there and;
![](https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/emoticons/new/cool.png)
that this (removal of the computer) is a relevant factor in the game. Being that '
![](https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/emoticons/new/cool.png)
' is not true, the YH wants Maccabee to think that he should be depressed for
not thinking that he was returning the computer for a greater reason. That way, when he gets the computer back, he will not feel any spiritual uplift from not having had the nisayon for three weeks. What we would want, much to the YH's dislike, would be for Maccabee to feel strengthened from a 3 week reprieve, which is an opportunity that he is being afforded. Had he returned the computer solely because he felt that by removing it the struggle would go away, the YH would have said nothing.
So in response, I feel that what the YH least would want in this situation is for Maccabee to return the computer for the "lust" reason at the same time noting to himself that the problem is not being fixed. In this case, after 3 weeks, Maccabee would feel strengthened. In my humble opinion, the only way for the YH to infiltrate Maccabee's mind and stop this from occurring, was to plant this thought into his mind.
I was running away from accepting that I did fail.
Rising Up