Mazal tov! a picture's worth a thousand words!

This Maccabbe Avatar is just:
^Ge_va^ld_ig!^!

ZemirosShabbos wrote on 01 Feb 2011 19:12:


Yeah where's Bards? I think me and the Matey's could use a little Cholint. We're running a bit low on fuel and natural gas.

I had SUCH a rough week. And shabbos. But one thing was interesting. A bit of a G-dly moment. I was feeling terrible erev shabbos. My father called and I decided to answer even though I was feeling so terrible. We spoke for a bit. It was a very warm talk. Then things started rolling. My mother called, then my grandmother, then one person from GYE texted wishing me a good shabbos, then another GYE'r. I think once I came out of seclusion a little by answering the phone the rest came flowing in. "Pischu li k'chudo shel machat v'ani eftach k'pischo shel Ulam."

Although Shabbos didn't go too well the whole erev shabbos experience left a very warm feeling.

If it is a hint He is sending you, then I'd consider running with it!

Sorry to hear that shabbos didn't go well. But as Dov said, it's important to focus on the times when hashem makes his presence in our lives even more strongly known!

Don't live in the past

U couldn't even if u tried to

Don't live in the future

Its not here yet

Live now

Now


In the right now short term now

B

hi Mac,
anchors ahoy!
today is the very first day of the rest of our lives

This minute is the very first minute of.... NOW!!!


This is the only opportunity to live this minute correctly.

This minute is entirely unrelated to the minutes before or after it.  It stands on its own.



How are we gonna live it??

Hey Mac!

Long time no see...

Howsit?

E

Wow, a very interesting day indeed. A couple of thoughts and updates of my day.

1) I returned my laptop because I won't be using it for the next three weeks. So I felt "bad" because I wasn't returning it because it was causing me to act out but because I couldn't support it financially yet. Then I realized that the whole reason I felt bad was because I didn't return it "because I wanted to do teshuva." Meaning I thought subconsciously that by returning the computer I would make up for using it act out. I was running away from accepting that I did fail.

2) I bought something on Ebay and the seller was a girl/woman. I emailed her about details and used google chat to ask her questions. When I used chat a picture of her came up. So after I paid and she shipped it I had a sudden urge to start asking her about herself. YUCHHHH!!!!! So I immediately came here and posted. I think I'm going to call some1 now.

In response to "1)":  This


is your YH speaking!!  You know good and well why you returned it.  If not for your commitment to recovery you would have (at least, "I would have in your situation") found a justification for the money being spent on the laptop.  "It only an extra 3 weeks"...  "I'm NOT going to give in this time" (right),  etc... you know the deal.

Dear RU,

I think Maccabee's pojnt was that just he saw that was fooling himself that by returning the computer he was 'fixing' something. In reality, the problem remains intact, cuz it is not in the computer, it is in himself. And only real inner work will make any difference in the end....eventually he will just go out and get a new computer, magazine, whatever.

Like those addicts who believe that having a filter will save them, their wives will save them, their rebbi will save them, paying $1000 every time the act out will save them...or whatever. It's all nice, but they will need to change a bit on the inside - only that will save them.

No?

Dov, 
  In response to your valid point.  Yes and no.  Yes,  because at the very core of the issue you are indeed correct. No, and let me quote Maccabee:

In respect to what Maccabee thinks, the YH is attempting to convince him that this occurrence is an unrelated event in respect to his recovery.  While like you said, that may be true, at this stage in the game it is still a relevant factor in the mind games that the YH plays with an addict.  Yes the problem is not the computer, it is the person himself.  However, in order to be able to defeat the YH one must remove all of his weapons from within his vicinity.  In this case the YH saw this happening and stepped in to remind him that: A) he is still there and; that this (removal of the computer) is a relevant factor in the game.  Being that '' is not true, the YH wants Maccabee to think that he should be depressed for not thinking that he was returning the computer for a greater reason.  That way, when he gets the computer back,  he will not feel any spiritual uplift from not having had the nisayon for three weeks.  What we would want, much to the YH's dislike, would be for Maccabee to feel strengthened from a 3 week reprieve, which is an opportunity that he is being afforded. Had he returned the computer solely because he felt that by removing it the struggle would go away, the YH would have said nothing.
          So in response,  I feel that what the YH least would want in this situation is for Maccabee to return the computer for the "lust" reason at the same time noting to himself that the problem is not being fixed.  In this case, after 3 weeks, Maccabee would feel strengthened.  In my humble opinion, the only way for the YH to infiltrate Maccabee's mind and stop this from occurring, was to plant this thought into his mind.

                                                                    Rising Up

Could be.

Well said, RU, and I sincerely apologize if what I wrote came out at all negatively. 

Thanks for the clarification.

Nice self-awareness, on both counts. I'm impressed, and I need to learn to think like that more.