lost a battle after spending a while looking  for shmutzy lit sites which even though my k9 is supposed to block all of them, I managed to find what i was looking for
it was all because i stayed in my room; i have a hard time getting some some days and when i stay in my room, these things could happen.
i guess ill move on from this

struggled at home just now with some p
I am in the middle of taking an online bechina- i gs i have no shame or the yh has no limits

I hate my yetzer
i am powerless

I dont get it:
Is learning Torah suposed to break down our Yetzer ("Torah Tavlin?") or maybe it ratchets it up ("The spiritually greater one is so is his yetzer")
I learned a lot this weekend and my yetzer attacked me in the middle of a gemara bechina..Is this 'allowed'? Doesn't he have to play by some rules?
Please help

i also go to porn in the middle of typing chidushay tora.h

What about Torah Tavlin!!?? whats pshat

no rules!

used to be the Y"H woudl wait at our doorstep waiting to pounce on us..
but we are also guilty of breakign the rules, too

used to be our houses were safe, the beis medrash were safe..

but no more.

our computers (and phones) allow us to transcend all BOUNDARIES..

and since boundaries are mainly found in important places, or places of Kedusha - and since WE have broken down our our fences.. why blame the Y"H.

take responsibity -

tiem to start fixing th fences we've broken

dov.ii

thanks for the mussar but
a) I have tried to set up gedarim in my house but it doesnt work (k9 doesnt let my dad get to certain mutar sites) My laptop now has k9 so it is only when i am home which is not that often
b) acc to that the only people that should be successful at beating this are people that live in a box which is not true. why shouldnt my torah protect me from wwanting to go on p sites even if they are available?

For starters, we could only begin that discussion if you have "torah temimah" - complete torah, which I think few people today have.

Furthermore, once we've gotten involved in porn, we've put ourselves in a situation of disconnection, so we definitely can't expect our torah to be "complete."

Not that we shouldn't learn - but learning is not the solution to our addiction.

Getting rid of this problem is something that requires effort, and changing things about ourselves. It means giving up something which may seem, at times, to be a source of tremendous pleasure.

The argument that 'torah should save me" generally seems to come from the yetzer hora, at least as far as I've seen in used.

Hey SG,

K9 will not block you. Period. I know an easy way around it but I still have it installed because it is a heker for me. It reminds me that I accepted upon myself to work on this inyan. If you try to get around it, you are obviously not using the tool correctly. In other words, gedarim do work but up to a point, it's a crutch but we have to make the effort in order to make it work. The same goes for hirhurim. I'm not one to talk as I didn't have much success thus far but I distract myself the moment I get a hirhur because I know that I'll be powerless over it once I slip a bit. I'm not judging you (quite the contrary) but there is obviously something elementally wrong with your approach to this problem.

I also think that torah does protect us but I don't know which torah. Perhaps you should try to learn something that inspires you.

Keep strong!!

StrugglingGuy wrote on 28 Nov 2010 20:22:

Derech Eretz Kodmo L'Torah

SANITY Kodmo L'Derech Eretz

When we do something we know can mess up the rest of our lives, even though we don't want to, this is called INSANITY.

Torah doesn't work because, what we need to achieve first, is sanity.  And this is a prerequisite to the prerequisite to Torah.

Aha- so what u are all saying is that we should be perfect people with perfected middos (harder than finishing shas says R Y Salanter so not happening soon) and only then can my Torah help me against my Yetzer?! That is like saying I have to be like Rav Yerucham for example and then my learning can help-
a) Rav yerucham became who he was through learning
b) Once you are already Rav Yerucham you do not need learning to help you! At least that is not what it looks like to me
So who exactly are you talking abt that has everything figured out and only then does his Torah really help against his yezter as the gemara says it should do?... It does not seem to make sense to me.
I am not sure if I am insane. By going to sleep automatically put me in a bad situation? How about last night when I had my gemara in bed with me and it still didnt help. Obviously you are saying that if I was totally immersed in my learning I would not have turned to m. But realistically the point is that the YH is targeting me! So I am just trying to make some sort of shield for myself!
Torah Temima? I chazered sugya's in Pesachim for hours on shabbos. Am I Rav Shach when I learn? No. But who is? I think I put enough effort in that it should help me, but maybe I have the concept wrong...
BTW today's P for me was the first in a couple months...

Hello dear friend.
Firstly lets not waste our time figuring out why torah doesent work for us. This is a fact and lets accept it. Fighting it wont change it.
I would like to share somthing profound with you. Torah helps a person with normal taavos. If you are a addict like me than we arent dealling with a taava. We have turned lust into our best friend. Lust is our pain medicine. Lust is our refuge when we are hurting. There is something even more. We worship like a god the object of our lust.  vehu kali etc. Everything it says there we apply to our lust. When a natural taava is twisted into something literely spiritual and unatural the torah isnt a tavlin for this.
Your friend who feels your frustration.

Hey SG,

Perhaps you are learning something that is not inspiring to you so your torah learning is like learning math or science (reading, comprehending, memorizing etc.) and it doesn't have an effect on you. Perhaps you should try learning something that inspires you. I can't give you examples because each person is different. Some people thrive on musar while others get depressed form it. Either way, it is not expected to cure you, this addiction requires more than torah alone. 

Best of luck!

remember also that even the Torah itself can be 'used' negatively. Chazal say 'lo zacha naaseh lo sam maves', in certain circumstances it can be a death potion. i once read a story (in Sipurei Ramach) about a relative of the Kobriner who went off the derech. a while later he came to the rebbe asking for a path of teshuva. the rebbe said for starters make sure not to learn anything for a while (!), only say tehillim. i wouldn't advise this to someone on my own (duh) but that is what it says there. at the very least it illustrates this point. the Torah is not a guarantee of anything. we find people who had great knowledge of Torah and still brought calamity to klal yisrael r'l: Shabtai Tzvi, Frank, and many others. it may be that WHAT you are seeking is more decisive than the METHOD you use to seek.