Boruch Hashem is right! And in the interest of making this business easier, are you looking for ways to get even more truly and usefully involved with your G-d, with the stuff going on in your life, and with the people in it, than than you were the week, month, or year before?

Yes, I think so.

  I will comment on this more but I have to go to sleep soon and I wanted to make another point....

  Don't know how many guys here watch sports but as the NBA Finals are on and I watch them- I get disgusted with the ads. It is no seceret that most ads these days are inapproiate- especially for guys like us. It is ridiculous how many commercials/movie trailers, etc. revolve around some sort of seduction or scantily clad women (sry for the trigger- just trying to make a point here)...I just starting leaving the room for the commercials...

Based on the ads, it's a miracle that basketballs are not triggering to us yet!

Was that funny?

Grrrrrreeeaaat!

hmm...weird lol

fell the other day...moving on. dirty magazines lying arnd in my freinds apt- no excuses tho

my fiancee asked abt guard ur eyes emails and i told her a generic answer. bad idea, good idea? lemme know ur thoughts.

have a wonderful shabbos

I'll go out on a limb here; ..

She's not stupid.

She knows what the world looks like these days. It even makes women feel uncomfortable, as if they 'also have to dress this way' to fit in.

I told my wife "you know where I come from (I wasn't raised frum, my wife was).. I saw too much garbage and the streets these days aren't helping much.. These emails, books etc help me stay focused on my goals, not waste time, keep only you on my mind (she liked that last one :-) ) etc...

"You know I'm not messing around out there, I want to keep it that way"..

The more transparent my relationship w/her, the more serene our connection is..
Good Shabbos

This is a sensitive one, but honesty is big ingredient in any real relationship - bigger than love, even. Hatzlocha. Honesty is better than politically correct, too. There are no half-ways in honesty - but there is a stupid way to say anything, and a (few) smart ways. Hatzlocha.

Just don't go into ALL the nitty-gritty details.  I think that is probably a stupid thing to do.

--Eye.

thx guys.

iyh wedding in about 65 days!

wedding in one month

this by no means excuses our behavior- but we have had major shomer negia breaches over the past several months. most of the time it has been me that cannot control myself. is it my lust or my love for her? i hope it is the second (not that that makes it ok) but maybe it is both. i wont deny my lust issues. on the way from camp to the city i was triggered by a girl sitting next to me in the car (not my fiancee)- i had thoughts of breaching SN with my fiancee. then when i got closer the lust thoughts went away and i was 'determined' to stay clean this time. well i was clean for the first part of the morning but then i slipped.

  i rationilize by saying that my fiancee misses me etc. but i know its wrong. hopefully we can stay clean til the wedding as i go back to camp tmrw, etc.

I'll PM you on this, bl'n.

It may serve you a lot better to drop the term "shomer negiyah" completely. Call it 'having an honest relationship between your marriage and G-d'.

Cuz that's what it is. I have no interest nor pleasure in laying a guilt trip on you, at all. It's just a much more mature way of approaching boundaries with your wife.

If you do not keep boundaries like this now, you will not keep niddah later. Don't fool yourselves.

This is one of the big opportunities you will have to be in a relationship with G-d as a marriage. It's not about a particular holocha, issur, or whatever. It is the general honesty you have as a couple under G-d - or it is nothing.

Hatzlocha. You will never forget this time together as long as you live. Guaranteed.   

thx dov

been clean with that for 2 weeks since weve seen each other. camp has its advantages...

we spent shabbos together and oberved shomer nagia, BH.

im still mstrbtng somewhat but not ejac....ing

StrugglingGuy wrote on 15 Aug 2011 05:34:


Sort of like doing drugs but not inhaling.