(This might be a little graphic)

I recently started sleeping on the floor instead of my bed. Why? My floor is made of wood. I put a blanket down and wrap it around myself and it's kmat like Im sleeping on the floor. My challanges come from ms******* not with my hand but with imitation of an 'act'. Therefore, being on the floor serves as an all-important deterrent for me to not eja********. (It is quite uncomfortable to lie face down on a wooden floor if you didnt already get it....)

However, I still touch myself and fantasize. So, the root of my taavah still exists. Technically, what I still do is called 'ms***********'; obviously, though, not ej********* is a success, I believe.

Anyone have thoughts?

when the YH 'tells' me to do something, I follow him blindly, without stopping to think.

anyone else have this?

Sounds like you get down on yourself sometimes. You dont follow the yetzer hara blindly at all. Look at the lengths your willing to go through to protect yourself and pull yourself from his grasp. Thats amazing.

StrugglingGuy wrote on 24 Jun 2010 16:39:

Buddy,
maybe, this is better than finishing the act,
u r in a danger zone!  it is hard for me to undersand,but even for much older married guy ,the craving for stimulation and release it often overwhelming. someone did post on the site the secrets to success which included never touching the bris,not lying on his back. these may be a bit difficult....

What about exercise? maybe that will be good for u to let out some of that energy. may Hashem protect u from this y.h.

yedidya aleph -

agree-

'half an act' is not half an act at all. theres no such thing. and we all know where it will lead. dont cut down - cut it out.

fell last night after an all day flight, but I immediately write down what I did to put myself in an inevitable situation (3 or 4 things)
I knew I was putting myself in that situation and I still did it- that is the hardest part.
have a great shabbos everyone

'asher tishmiru'- we will listen to Hashem...Hashem believes in us...we will overcome IYH

stumbled a lil looking for some  literature online i just jumped on the site after about 10 minutes of it

StrugglingGuy wrote on 24 Jun 2010 16:39:


My impression is the Halacha is that men must sleep on their side

ya

HI. I SIMPLY GET TROUMENDOUS CHIZUK FROM WATCHING YOU POST AFTER YOU FALL AND FALL AND POST ETC.. iT IS TRULY AWESOME, SINCE WE ALL KNOW THIS FIGHT IS A WAR, AND YOU OBVIOUSLY ARE IN FOR THE KILLLL.  kEEP UP YOUR FIGHT AND AND YOUR SPIRIT.

SORRY TO STIK IN MY ISSUE to your thread, BUT THIS SIGHT HAS BECOME SO HUGE SINCE ITS BEGINING (WHEN I was on 2 years ago) that I dont know where to write.

Although i have been almost totally clean for close to 2 years bchasdei Hashem and i owe it to GUE, I have almost fell completely and i have been messing around too much with myself even though I dont completely go for it.  In fact, i spilled some seed twice recently<>?:"&^%$. I really need chizuk.. And maybe someone I can call when under the spelll. This rosh chodesh I think would make it 2 years, although not free completely.

Any chizuk pleeeaaase.

thnks

You can't look anywhere without seeing shmutz. Hashem is really testing when I go on a 'harmless' online movie site to try to watch something pretty kosher (today it was shawshank redemption) and I get these ads popping out at me as well as other movie covers. I am tempted to click on the movie covers. Thank God the only thing doesn't really work without signing up and stuff. On my laptop I got rid of Hulu but not at home.
I guess the point I am trying to make is that in order to let God remove our lust, we have to remove ourselves from lust triggers which I am learning consist of a lot more than I thought or want...

I am a little scared because I know when I do look at these things online, it won't make me feel as guilty as when I mstrbt.

BH Yom Yom

How is everyone else doing?

Sorry I have not posted recently. Have been busy at work and attending live SA meetings daily M-F. Baruch Hashem,i am sober from p* & m*. Checking in daily with a sponser is a great help.

U might find this quote from the SA White Book helpful:
Thus, for the sexaholic, any form of sex with one's self or with partners other than the spouse is progressively addictive and destructive. We also see that lust is the driving force behind our sexual acting out, and true sobriety includes progressive victory over lust. These conclusions were forced upon us in the crucible of our experiences and recovery; we have no other options. But we have found that acceptance of these facts is the key to a happy and joyous freedom we could otherwise never know.
This sounds like to bottom line for being sober is refraining from m* or s* outside of marriage. Of course we should be working on a progressive victory over lust. this would include taking  "second looks" and deliberately reading and looking at errotic material. Of course for me, there is a strong connection between viewing triggering things and m*.
Anyway,hoping that u will have a shtark Elul free from tuma and attached to kedusha of learning and davening. This is a zman mesugal for aliya in ruchniyas.

I go to the gym to work out and there are tv's there. Fine. Lemme just watch some ESPN while I'm on the eliptical machine. Unfortuantely there are other TV's with soap opera's on and it is extremely hard not to glance at them. There was no s** or anything; however there were attractive women (you all know.)
I go to the library to get some psychology books and other clean stuff. However, wherever I look, I see lusty book titles. How is most of the library romance novels or other 'clean' books with suggestive titles?! Don't they have other stuff? Not to mention the dvd's on display. It was very hard not to take JUST ONE racy novel and that will be it. I am proud of myself that I walked out with just 2 clean books.
It is simply gehinnom for our souls out there, folks.

I fell Fri nite...
It always seems to be shabbos, idk why.
It was a mental struggle. I wanted to do it, but I kept pushing it off, until I could not push it off anymore. That is basically what happened...