Dear heiligeh yid. You posted elsewhere about how you were "feeling like giving up the fight soon" and saw that as ominous. I guess struggling didn't work this time.

I just want to say that I see two avenues before you. Try to struggle and win with trust in Hashem that He can and will assist you. Use whatever tricks you can find, chizzuk, help from friends, mussar and other sforim, whatever. I wish you hatzlocha and believe that it can work for some people. If you want that, go to the people with problems like you have who successfully use that and ask them to teach you.

The other avenue is all - no, only - about giving up the struggle. You seemed to be saying that giving up the fight means giving in and doing stuff that's bad for you and your life. That is not accurate in the experience of many recovering people.

There is a third option to your bind. It is: giving up so I don't ever have to give in. Give the fight to Hashem, rather than failing at it - cuz I probably will. It isn't a hashkofa issue, it is purely a matter of statistics. If I see that I am basically guaranteed to eventually fail, cuz I do, then I cannot expect to win. So, if I really care about myself, I'd better find Someone who can get me out of this bind. That is mostlikely G-d Himself. Learning how to do that is what recovery offerred by the 12 steps is about. If you want that, go to the people with problems like you have who successfully use that and ask them to teach you.

thanks.  I'm leaning towards the latter of the ideas (12), though I'm not sure how thatd work.  Would that be something I can do here or find some other group?  I also have a friend who sucessfully went through them, but I'm not sure thatd be the best match.  i dunno.  you input is greatly appreciated,

Why not see what works for you? If you have an interest in going to an SA meeting, you can try that - or if you prefer, you can try working the steps here, and seeing if that helps. Either way, though, if after a while you don't see improvement, you might want to see what you can do to enhance your program.