Chazak you are amazing! 55 days clean! don't let the YH get you down. now is the bes time to get right up and start again.! 

for some reason my fall hit me more this morning than last night. i am quite depressed and to be brutally honest and truthful i want ro read more p**n stories and use pictures to accompany them! help i don't know what to do! :'(

i am trying to think of things i did not do last time in terms of fences that i should do better this time like make  a neder about money or something else, update my chart everyday because i began not doing it so diligently and so i would let 2-3 days go by before updating. those are somethings i was thinking about. i am trying to keep myself distracted right now because i really don't wanna fall again today!

Look, CA, in my view the big picture is lookin' pretty good.

You've got a 55 day clean streak under your belt. At that rate, you'd be falling maybe 6x per year. In the past you'd be likely to fall, what, 6x in a month? In a week? The trend line is fantastic.

"You're not expected to complete the task" (all at once), but you're obligated to get started (and let G-d bring the rest home). Do you see now that you're able to start this task, to make progress on this task, and with G-d's loving help reach ever-higher heights in this task?

Of course you see that -- you're a smart & motivated guy.

I want to add one add'l perspective. At Ohr Somayach, the rebbes are very hot on reminding each bochur (long-term, drop-by for a day, anything) that they are in the top 1-2% of all Jews in the world... JUST FOR SHOWING UP. Let me explain this point in terms of GYE work:
1.  How much of the American world even CARES about avoiding P&M. Let's say it's most of the Torah Jews (2% Jewish, 25% frum at max, so 0.5% of the US), plus some fundamentalist Christians and other folks (maybe 2% at max place it as a value).
2. How many teens of those groups can succeed at these values in any given moment. I don't know, but I guarantee you it's less than half. So these teens are still LEARNING the strategies even if they have the abstract VALUES.

In other words, you shouldn't judge yourself by the hundreds of success stories here. Judge yourself by the 99.5% of the world that values P as an entertainment medium, that values m as a strategy to avoid teenage pregnancy.

COME ON -- YOU ARE A GIBBUR. You now have a 55 day streak to give you some grounding, to remind you that progress is happening. Don't succumb to the YH while he's got you on the mats. Get up, leave the ring, and get yourself a glass of water. And celebrate.

Thank you. at the moment i am feeling pretty good i thought i was going to fall again but became distracted by better stuff and if a thought creeped up on me i shook my head and thought about something else. i want to get to 90 days and beyond really bad!!! i am going to do it!

Glad to hear it!

As far as you earlier comment - right after falling, we sometimes feel bad, so that helps for a little while. So it makes sense that the next day would be even more difficult.

As far as things like nedarim, I'd be careful. You can try it for a little while and see how it works, the important thing is to find what works for you (rather than finding what you can do to punish yourself - NOT a good approach).

Have a great day!

i know i'm a little late and a lot of what i say will be an echo, but i think its worth saying.

55 days is absolutely amazing. to be honest, i'm not sure if you can sense this, but you are the biggest inspiration to me on the forum. You've shown me, as a fellow teen, that not only can this be done, but it can be done by staying active with the GUE community, by hard work and being active. Just seeing another teenager on the forum and having such a positive attitude has kept me going countless times. 55 days is quite an accomplishment. i think that's all that needs to be said for that.

i read a post yesterday (though i cant find it now, so thank you in advance to whoever posted it, as its absolutely brilliant) talking about comparing this struggle to climbing a mountain. but everyone knows that despite the fact that the overall trek is upwards, when climbing to the top, you arent always going up, as it you're following the natural contours of the mountain. this struggle is the same: yes the overall climb is up, and thats the direction you're headed, but there will also be points where you're headed down, no matter how brief. now the only question is how you'll start moving to get to the top?

we're here for you.

Thank you guys! Shlomo, i am so glad that you are here! i respect you a lot and feel you are inspiration to me i can imagine it being very difficult to become orthodox i look up to you more than you know! I am really glad i can be on this journey with you as we are both teens! i think it is a luxury a lot of folks here would love, to have a chance to beat this as a teen and also have someone there age who they respect to do it with them. i am not doing a good job of expressing myself but to put it in perspective if there was someone i would feel comfortable meeting in face to face from the forum it would be you (there is someone else who i already know and we are currently working up to meeting i think?)!  i think we would be great friends with a bond that stems from a struggle that we both supported each other through! thank you everyone for there chizuk!

                   

Hi CA,

I don't know how you are doing right now, but if you need some motivation remember that your view of women gets stronger and stronger in the wrong direction when you feed this yetzer ha-ra, and they can read you like a book, so don't allow the satan to convince you that it is of no consequence (of course at that time abstract yiras Shamaym doesn't help.) You want to get married and have a peaceful marriage.

But you are probably doing fine, in which case, ignore ...

That marriage part is certainly true! i was moping around and depressed for a while but i went to help a charity pack food for people who can't afford it and generally i am very friendly and outgoing but this time i wasn't and when one of the guys came in who normally i joke around with and say hi to saw me i kind let out a weak "hi" and he was kind of let down and i felt terrible because maybe it was my job to give a big smile like i normally do and...i don't know but after that i tried to act like my normall self and remind myself that moping is not doing anything for me.

Chazak Amenu wrote on 23 Apr 2010 02:49:


Good point, although I meant that it affects your view of women specifically. It may be difficult to respect a woman all the way.

you know what  is funny? the girl i had/have a crush on i  never really fantasied about except for a few times when i did noy know better and i think that is because i was also friendly with her and talked with her and respected her. the girls i don't are the ones i don't really know. but i am hoping that this will help me respect them more.

Chazak Amenu wrote on 23 Apr 2010 03:10:


That is a good sign for you. When I was ten I read a "cartoon" in which two guys replicate a woman to give her a new, submissive personality. In the process, she dies. At the time I was not horrified by this, somehow. Soon after that I started phantasizing about my school girlfriends and they were all submissive. That is sick sick sick. Do not allow that to happen to you.

But you are a frum teenager. Please don't have a girl you "have a crush on." You are inviting in the yetzer ha-ra.

I don't really know how i will interact with girls/woman because right now i am not in contact with any and the occasions i have been i have been just fine and respectful. by the way my crush moved away so its about time i got over her any way.

Feeling down is natural - but i like the fact that you're picking yourself up.

Just remember - the first few days are very hard, but then you start to gain a bit of momentum, at least. You can do it!