Dear Pinteleh Yid:
He talked in length about the what an Aveira is on a kabbalistic level and the way one can "thunder" against the Y"H when one feels that he is falling into the web of the Y"H by taking the pent up anger and frustration that a person has and chanelling it in this constructive way.
This is based on one of the tenets of the Tanya that Moiach Shalit Al Halev. (The brain can ultimately rule over the heart) I think I remmember him saying that you still have to have a bechina of a brain to be able to do this. If your brain is fried then one just has to hit rock bottom before they can get out of it.
He also taught us on a Kabbalistic level how it is possible for the Y"H to become your "best friend". He said that when you are doing your avairos, you are nourishing the Y"H so in turn, the Y"H will do what he can to become your best friend by feeding you as well.
and
I just have one question, when you were in the "fighting" stage, did you ever try to do the 2 things the Gemorah suggested? (Thundering against the Yetzer Horah or making the object of your nesayon despicable in your eyes)
Well. Here I go again. May this be of use to
somebody:
My sponsor is Roman Catholic, I have had sponsees who were Frum yidden, goyim, totally unaffilliated Jews (sadly, some married to shiksa's), and have very close program friends who are mormons, etc. I hope that doesn't render me posul le'eidus... B"H they can
all get sober and stay that way even though they are missing a big chunk of reality (the Torah). Living sober is a gift Hashem gives to
everyone, like He gives air and water - "hoy
kol tsomei lechu lamoyim!". Really. I guess I owe water, air (and cucumber sandwiches) my very life. B"H, I do not make breathing and eating the whole point of my life - it's just survival, not a madreiga. Don't get me wrong - I take breathing
very, very seriously - dead seriously. But (as long as I am not having breathing trouble, r"l!!) it is certainly
not the purpose of life. It shouldn't be. It, like sobriety, is perhaps the most essential heicha timza
to whatever life I choose . Now, lets get into living! As a yid, "living right" is Torah, period. The Will of Hashem is expressed through it - what more could anyone want? Nevertheless, frum addicts ignore the Torah every time they act out, and can't stop. Then we get sober. As I am a yid who knows what the Torah is, in order for my relationship with Hashem to be honest I need to try and keep the Torah. If my relationships are not
honest I will not succeed at sobriety, at all.
No chatzitzas allowed in this mikvah! And, if I am not sober, I'll die. Kofoh alai ha'har kegigis? AA calls it Enlightened Self-interest. As recovering addicted yidden, we choose to extend survival to keeping the Torah because it is
our third step. I hope that is somewhat clear. But please don't pretend that the only sober yid is a frum yid. Helping others get and stay sober is not kiruv. It is more akin to giving blood. ("No drunk ever got sober as a result of
inspiration" -Chuck C.)
PS. Ask any sponsor in Brooklyn and they will likely report: being frum is
not an asset when it comes to getting sober. We often have it much
harder than goyim because of various reasons.
PSS. I agree that in some long-term way,
all yidden desperately need to accept Hashem's will through the Torah whether they realize it, or not (as do
all bnei noach, really). I believe in the "rotzeh anee" of the RMB"M...Nevertheless, it doesn't seem to actually
work that way, as I have "testified" above. Maybe the actual ratzon Hashem for us as individuals is not that simple...vehameivin yovin.