I realized how when I am busy and have constructive things to be busy with....

I simply forget about acting out...

I went to a 12 step meeting yesterday...
I felt so uncomfortable... I feel like the odd man out... the only jew...

I seemed to be the only person at the meeting who was so uncomfortable.... and there were quiet a few other new-comers....

Did you also have that when you went to meetings....?

Also in general life seems so hard... I don't know how I'll ever make it.... I don't know how to just give everything over to G-d.... It is so so hard....

I suspect that most first-timers felt uncomfortable, even if you didn't see it.

That's a huge step forward, though! I hope you give yourself credit for that!

My name is tried and I am a computer addict I do not have power over this addiction.

I have recently been thinking that it would be best for me to make a white list of only the sites I need -and have everything else blocked out.

I am ready to do this I am just waiting to hear from my therapist if it is the best move for me right now (I have a history of taking too much upon myself and then crumbling under it...).

If he agrees, I hope Hashem gives me the strength to do this and to find other more meaningful replacements...

Any and all comments are welcome...

P.s. If anyone sill remembers me and is reading this thread if you can be kind and just let me know that I am not writing to a dial tone I'd be very appreciative

Tried-123 wrote on 26 May 2010 19:55:


No dialtones here, my friend! Keep posting.

Yet another reason you are indeed not writing to a dial tone, chaver! Great hearing you! I ,too, am unable to make good g'darim in my use of the computer - I am in poor control of my time when I post on GYE and respond to PMs. I need help for this and in order to get the help I need the first thing I must do is become honest with another person who can at least somewhat understand what my struggle is like. Many can, when it comes to computer use, even of the kosher quality. Your admitting your difficulty has hepled me already! Thanks! let's stay in touch.

Dov

If you can do it, that sounds like a great step!

Great to hear from you!

No dial tone  here

Tried-123 wrote on 26 May 2010 19:55:


The night before you posted this, I commented to someone that Tried-123 hasn't been around in a while. I miss him.

Coincidence or Providence?

I am using my computer much less the past couple of days....

It is so so so hard... It was my escape, my virtual reality where I can be in the company of others and be part of some action.....

It is crystal clear why I have become addicted to computer/internet... No internet= facing my real life which is no fun....

At this point I am just so disgusted? at myself for wasting time and not accomplishing and moving forward that I am propelled to try to face my real life and try to make some difficult changes...

It is scary... I don't know that I'll succeed... I don't know how to pull out of my real life difficulties (social phobia the highest among them...)

But I think I must try, I must take a step...

Today I shot some hoops (basketball) which is good for me and Which I haven't done in such a long time...

Thank You:
Briut for letting me know that someone's listening
Yosef Hatzadik for missing me
7up (aka Mom) for shooing the spiders away
Dov for your warm words
SB for being a GYE pro

You are most welcome, and Good Shabbos!

Tried-123 wrote on 28 May 2010 04:50:

I don't anymore!




Now you are back!!!!!!!!  ;D

I have no interest in being a pro, and in fact, I'm not...I'm just glad I get the opportunity to welcome you back.

silentbattle wrote on 28 May 2010 20:05:


That actually rhymed very well...
Thank You...

You're the one shooing them away!
Lets make a deal -:
I'll try get over my spider phobia,
and you try conquer your social phobia!

You CAN do it; believe in yourself the way we on GYE believe in you

;D

not my best work, but thank you!