_

It happens to guys .

ANd thus all guys in yeshiva seem to have some unwritten rules about protecting each other's privacy in such 'personal' areas. Some 'uncouth youths' may even be so blunt as to mention such 'ploicies' to their new roomates (I personaly bore witness to such a 'oreantation'--weird is an understatement).

It will also happen to people at the start, and for a large duration of their clean streak. The point in this is for you to get depressed over it, and in doing so lose the battle against your Yetzer hara. Don't be yet another statistic, realise there is nothing you can do, you have done nothing wrong, you will not be held accountible for this unless you could have done soomething to prevent it, and above all.... ;D smile.

Going to yeshiva, assuming you utilixe the oppertunity to seriously learn (on whatever level it may be), is the most empowering tool in your fight agaist the Yetzer Hara in these areas, specificly. It will give the you means, power, and inspiration to connect to Hashem, to the propper extent needed to do the 12 steps. Personaly, I feel it may be possible to suplement hitting "rock bottom" utilizing intense torah study. it's just a hypothesus, and I can easily be wrong about it.

Oh yeh, and welcome  *arms open-wide to give a hug* (we don't have the :)for it).  Keep the dialog going here. If you keep your thread flowing enough, you might be able to keep all the regulars following your story, and adding their insight. Good luck  (I talk from experience---but there is always SB who will be there for you)

Kadosh,

It is normal. No reason to see a doctor. Please don't let it get you down. That is just giving the y"h what he wants. And learning in yeshiva is a great idea! You're working on yourself and I think that fits hand in hand with being in a learning and growing environment.

much hatzlacha!

kadosh wrote on 21 Feb 2010 00:48:


www.guardureyes.com/GUE/FAQ/FAQ5.asp

Dear Kadosh,

What an appropriate name! As is obvious from your tremendous teshuka to get better you are very holy! And as others have already explained, this is normal. And when it occurs, it doesnt have to be public knowledge. Even in a yeshiva people are usually pretty respectful of others privacy. In most situations, at least.

Hatzlacha rabbah!! Wishing you all the best!

-?- wrote on 21 Feb 2010 02:15:


Um, yeah - that would be kinda weird - not sure if I should laugh or wince!

-?- wrote on 21 Feb 2010 02:15:


Hey, SE - I appreciate the vote of confidence, but let's not expect too much - I've been falling behind recently, with a crazy-busy schedule...


Kadosh - Wow! The more I learn about you, the more impressed I am - you're frum despite coming from a family that 1) is not frum, 2) is actively antagonistic to you being frum! That's truly incredible.

I agree with you that going to yeshiva would probably be a good idea. Going to a different country might be difficult, but I'm sure you can talk to people who can help smooth the way for you.

As far as being nervous/embarrassed about keri issues, I totally understand. Waking up in the morning and having to deal with it when you've got roommates - not fun. But I think pretty much everyone's done it, and we're still here, alive and well. It's something that, as embarrassing as it is, everyone else deals with, too.

Keep on rocking - let us know what's happening by you! how many days clean are you now (remember, keri is totally not a fall)?

Kadosh,

You have a lot going on. I have a lot of respect for you for pushing through and holding on to what you know is important. And we can always  , even if we don't feel that way, it really helps!