Been there, (7 months of tzidkus) done that, fall. And i only have a few pieces of advice
1. Follow my footsteps carefully, and see when they lead into the ravine below.
2. look at my failures like a pessimist, and realize that my YH works the night shift by you
3. Why don't you write-out the post you plan on publishing, in full detail (of the loss of retzifus), and post it. Make sure to stress the agony of loosing the retsifus, and speak-out every reason that you wish you 'didn't do it'. An now that you have bechira chafshis, choose?