Amen V'chein Y'hi Ratzon, sweet INH, with one caveat for me:
I completely relinquish any s'char I may deserve and may
ever deserve for what you call "overcoming my nisayon". I want no part of it.
This is why:
When I'm sane, I calmly say,"
Tatte, help me" whenever I notice a problematic image coming out of the corner of my eye or a troubling memory growing out of a corner of my mind. I give the job of freeing me of the
powerful desire to look more or to think about it more, to Him Yisborach alone. Struggling with it reminds me too much of
how I got here in the first place!
![](https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/emoticons/new/tongue.png)
Not healthy....
Besides, every now and then the desire will surely be much too powerful for me to resist. To admit that requires
humility - also a gift from Him, I believe. But I'm in good company, as Dh"M said, "va'ani l'tzelah nachon".
I remember that giving it up can sometimes really feel like a punch in the stomach; intolerable; as though I am really
losing something I desperately
need for my own good!! I am not smart enough to rely on my wisdom then. After all, it was
my wisdom that
got me here in the first place...
So I give the credit to Him and do not assume that I am
smarter or better, now. That's what I
always thought...foolish fellow that I can be.
![](https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/emoticons/new/wink.png)
.
What s'char do
I deserve for running from lust
like the fire that it is for me (or maybe just closing my eyes for a second) and quietly, humbly asking Him to take a second out of His busy schedule to help His little Doveleh out so I can move onto His work?
I am aware that this attitude may not work for everybody, but for me, it's the best so far.
S'char anyone?