Sorry, Yiddle2, but here is some response:
Gorgeous. Just plain gorgeous.
OK, now for the fun part. You say you have done the steps. Then you talk of gaining bitachon in your heart. I do not doubt you, rather I
only wish to ask: How did you
do the second and third steps without getting bitachon in your heart? I don't understand.
The steps are not like Torah, which (sadly) can be a book, and just read without being believed in at all nor incorporated. The steps are not information - they are a program. Hence the term, "Program" (Heb: "siddur"
![](https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/emoticons/new/wink.png)
).
You don't read them and think about them. You put them into action. Only.
So, in a friendly and nonconfrontational way I really want to ask what you mean by 'doing' them.
To me, the steps are what you are talking about near the end of your second paragraph below. Looking at Hashem. Really though, they are not exactly about Hashem, as much as they are about the "looking at" part. We learn to
direct ourselves to truth. Starting with the truth about ourselves...ouch.