Yiddle2 wrote on 11 Jan 2010 01:55:
Hi everyone,
I thought I would tell you guys about the most interesting and emotional day for me in my lifetime. It all started when I had a fall last night. I was in the middle of falling when my parents walked in and b'h didnt see me, but they started to talk to me about something. And I dont know if this has ever happened to someone, but when someone is falling and someone else walks in, they want that person out of that room immediately. So I quickly flipped on on my parents and they got so angry that I did not have Drech Eretz for them a dn we all went to sleep angry. The next morning, something else happened and I got REALLY angry with my father. I was ready to run away from home right there. My father wasnt home and my mother pleaded with me and was crying for me to stay and work it out. With tears coming down my cheek, I left the house with the intention of not coming back for the week. about a block later I turned around and decided to come back. My mother and I waited for my father to come home and I sat down with them for 2 hours and talked out our differences. You see, I never had a good relationship with my father and he always tells me that he resents that. I was crying ALOT which is something that I have never done.
Hopefully this will be the beginning of a new thing and I can learn to build relationships instead of break them. I look back at the moment where it all went down and I exploded on my parents for no reason and think to myself "Isn't it such a Bracha that I had been falling at that point!" I know that sounds crazy, but its the truth. Had i not been falling when my parents came into my room, this would never have happened and I would not have had the opportunity to truly open up to my father.
All the best to all,
-Yiddle
Dear sweet Yiddle - I just remembered why I say "sweet" by the "Yiddle": This post above.
See, the way you describe yourself is exactly how I'd describe my sone's relationship with me. I was drunk with lust for most of his childhood (he's over 20 now), and we can't seem to communicate well much of the time. OK, that may be putting it mildly.
It makes me sick. I went to shrink by myself just for help to improve the relationship a few yesrs ago, but while it improved, we still have big walls between us, r"l.
This wall does not exist with the kids we have had while I was sober and in recovery. Maybe it'll improve, but I ache for Hashem to help us find more common ground and lead us to love eachother.
This was not what your post was about, of course, but I hope it'll help you too, for me to share what was on my heart.
Hatzlocha with everything, chaver.
You seeem to be on a good path, as your friends here tell you.
