There was a very interesting point that was brought up in another thread about anonimity. I would like to make a comment about forums in general, I am not sure it has to do with that but I think this a point that needs to be made. For all those that are unaware, there was recently a whole to do about gay people coming out of the closet in a public forum in a certain place that is well known among the Orthodox world. The Rabbonim spoke out against this forum because the people that were coming out were looking for sympathy in a way they shouldn't be. I think this is something that we can relate to. Baruch Hashem I have never heard of anyone making a public forum looking for sympathy for lust addiction. It would juts be unheard of. And I don't want sympathy from anyone that cannot help me. Maybe a Rav, close friends, and GYE. But that's it. I dont want the world knowing of my struggles to get close to Hashem. We should all be thankfull to Hashem that we do not feel the need to come out and speak about this in public. We realize that our actions are detrimental to our connection to Hashem and we want to fix them. I am not sure I got all of my thoughts out there on this post so I might post some more later.

-Yiddle

I have no sympathy for you, just empathy.

Hey yid wats up. Im not sure what your trying to say. Im slow you know.

Please read my post on this page and let me know what you think. thanks.

rehab-my-site.com/guardureyes/forum/index.php?topic=1335.msg40518;boardseen#new

Hey everyone just wanted to say hi. Really thats it. Dont have time to rant maybe I will tommorrow.

Anyone here to say hi back?

-Yiddle

Hi Back.

Hi back.

Kollel Guy wrote on 03 Jan 2010 09:07:


Copycat

Ano Nymous wrote on 03 Jan 2010 09:12:
Maybe if you unscramble "Ano Nymous" you somehow get "Anyone", but I'm assuming he was talking to anyone who sees the post...

Hi back. anonymous. copycat. SEAL.

Hi everyone have a great Shabbos! Shemos is the beginning of a new sefer. Lets all start anew and see it just as one day.

I was doing the Parsha and thinking that Bnei Yisrael must have had it really hard. I mean, even Hashem realized how hard they had it. The Pasuk says: "Vayar Elokim es Bnei Yisrael Vayeida Elokim" (And Hahsem saw Bnei Yisrael and Hahsem knew) Rashi comments on the Pasuk about the seemingly ambiguous thought of what did Hashem know at that point? In a few words Rashi tells us that Hashem focused on then and did not hide His eyes from there. Hashem heard the outcry from the Jews and how much they wanted so desperately to leave thisw Tumah in Mizrayim. And then "Vayeida Elokim". Are we crying out enough to Hashem that we really want to leave our "Mitzrayim"? Doing some Cheshbon Hanefesh I would say that I am not. A fellow addict once asked me: "How many times a day do you daven to Hashem?" I answered: "The usual 3 i guess..." He said: " I daven about 50 times a day". The point is if we really want something, and I mean REALLY want it, the usual 3 isnt enough. We have to live it, breathe it, all 24 hours of the day.

Have a great Sgabbos evryone!

-Yiddle

Wow that was really beautiful Yiddle. Thanks so much for sharing. Oh how i wid=sh i could and would talk tp hashem more. Such an oppurtunity and we let i go to the wayside. :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\

Hi everyone,

I thought I would tell you guys about the most interesting and emotional day for me in my lifetime. It all started when I had a fall last night. I was in the middle of falling when my parents walked in and b'h didnt see me, but they started to talk to me about something. And I dont know if this has ever happened to someone, but when someone is falling and someone else walks in, they want that person out of that room immediately. So I quickly flipped on on my parents and they got so angry that I did not have Drech Eretz for them a dn we all went to sleep angry. The next morning, something else happened and I got REALLY angry with my father. I was ready to run away from home right there. My father wasnt home and my mother pleaded with me and was crying for me to stay and work it out. With tears coming down my cheek, I left the house with the intention of not coming back for the week. about a block later I turned around and decided to come back. My mother and I waited for my father to come home and I sat down with them for 2 hours and talked out our differences. You see, I never had a good relationship with my father and he always tells me that he resents that. I was crying ALOT which is something that I have never done.

Hopefully this will be the beginning of a new thing and I can learn to build relationships instead of break them. I look back at the moment where it all went down and I exploded on my parents for no reason and think to myself "Isn't it such a Bracha that I had been falling at that point!" I know that sounds crazy, but its the truth. Had i not been falling when my parents came into my room, this would never have happened and I would not have had the opportunity to truly open up to my father.

All the best to all,

-Yiddle

now i understand why you've been quiet lately about the SA group...

yiddle, this was very moving. You're doing just fine. B"H. Keep going strong, maybe put your efforts this week into mending those breaches with the folks more and more. Hey, maybe you can get them to take you out for dinner? (Steak, not Sushi). Man if that's not a lo lishma bo lishma if i ever heard it....

Anyway, yeah it would be great if you can keep your schedule open enough that the 3 of you, or just you & your dad can spend a little enjoyable time together, stay away from any conversations that could go wrong and bring back the tension. Just BE TOGETHER and enjoy each other's company without expectations. Bring in some Pizza and have a family fun nite. It's not bitul torah if there's a constructive purpose, to bring you guys even closer.

So forget about organizing the SA group for now, and I apologize for giving you pressure about it. the group will happen when it happens. Your connection to your parents is happening now. And Ain Sofaik motsei min havadai.

so how do we explain how the falling caused something good to happen?!

Because Yiddle took the fall AND MADE SOMETHING GOOD COME FROM IT HIMSELF!

Hashem placed his parents there, in the middle of the fall, to create this positive possibility. Yiddle had a choice, he could have kept walking. HE MADE IT GOOD by choosing a better path, a path that was NOT selfish, and it became healing for all of them.

Sometimes, to jump higher, we need to crouch down first.

Good Day, Dark. Nice to see you. BTW, check out Sefer Tomar Devorah. I forget off hand in which of the 13 middos he mentions this, but he talks about what it means that the Tzaddikim can not stand in the same place as the Baal Tshuvah. That's because the Baal Tshuvah ends up on a higher plane. And One can't become a Baal Tshuvah without the aveira first. perfect example of how something good can come out of something bad.

Kol Tuv,

Steve.