Day 13!! Today was the hardest day until now specially the last few hours (which was probably the hardest in my life) i was fighting for my life!! The יצר הרע woke back up and he came in full force I tried all techniques but nothing seamed to help and it didn't look like he is about to give up he cam back again and again every few minutes and the urges didn't become any easier it just became stronger and stronger by the minute.
But hashem helped me over come the fight and i won!!!
I took out a few lessons from todays fight:
1) I have the ability to fight back if i really want to
2) that eventually the urge will go away and my state of mind will return to normal.
3) That the good feeling of not giving in is worth more then all pleasures.
I know the battle isn't over. The Yetzer Hara will try again tomorrow. But today was proof that with hashem beside me I can win, and i will win
“איזהו גיבור? הכובש את יצרו.”
“The fight you’re in today is building the man you’ll be tomorrow.”