Ouch!
Here's a hug...

Have you considered connecting to a mentor? Joining the vaad?
Have you read the boo recommended above? (TBOTG)

Here's a list of some mentors and a link to the vaad project:
Vaad Program* (click here for an explanation of what the vaad is)

HHM - Hashem Help Me - is the mentor-in-chief around here. He's reachable at michelgelner@gmail.com.
Some of the other great guys here are Eerie - 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com, Muttel - muttel15@gmail.com,   Reb Akiva - mevakesh247@gmail.com iwantlife - iwantlifegye@proton.me minhamayim - minhamayim1@gmail.com amevakesh - amevakesh23@gmail.com iwannalivereal - iwannalivereal@gmail.com

Thank you, I've briefly started the book, and I have a bit of a connection with HHM Shlita, but I'm on uk time so it's hard to gain more from him. I'm interested in trying to have someone to call in "the moment" but not sure how to organize it. I think it's also a matter of working myself out in order to prioritize the right strategy otherwise it feels like "tofasto merubo, lo tofasto". Do you agree?
Anyway, I'm on my way to day 1 bs"d.
Bessuros tovos to everyone.

pomegranate wrote on 10 Jul 2025 21:34:

I  think that makes sense. I think a good phone call with another mentor might be helpful in figuring out which strategy would be smart to start with.
Have you considered connecting with anyone in EY, UK, or any other area in that time zone-ish? What about the west coast of USA? Is that far enough behind that it could work?

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Hey pomegranate!
I'm by no means at all a mentor but if you're still looking for someone to be able to call you can be in touch with me if you want and we can see how we can work that out.
I'm EY time zone so we only have 2 hours apart.
Feel free to send me an email if you want.

I am on day 6 bh but right now I am absolutely furious with 2 people who have been undermining my attempts to be good behind my back that I can't even describe. I don't know what's stopping me from going somewhere with a week filter and misusing it...
I'm going on sos now if the pressure I'm putting on the keys doesn't break my pc.

Hey pomegranate... Hang in there!!
You are feeling furious. Tell me please in what way will acting out help you? 

You're right, it will just make the problems worse. It's just that my logic is telling me that it's something I'm entitled to right now.

It's during these special moments and through this Nisayon that you are becoming a great person!!

But the feelings are real: you are feeling furious. Full stop. Is there any kosher activity you can do to help with those feelings?

Yes I'm going to maariv. I'll let you know when I get back that I haven't been anywhere else

I'll be following up....

Btw this is a עת רצון for you as you're overcoming this huge challenge..

I'm back, and I didn't go anywhere wrong bh and I think i'll be ok till tomorrow. Thank you. (i'm still angry though).

What's doing, my friend? How are you feeling?

EDIT: Just saw you already updated. Happy to hear. Feel good, and hopefully a new day will come with new strengths!

Thank you, thanks for the chance to express myself genuinely, it's a strange feeling, I'm not used to it.
I'm going off the pc now to hopefully get on with my life.
bessuros  tovos to everyone

hey pomegranate,
I just read thru this entire thread randomly and I just wanted to say I am inspired and proud of you for keeping your head up and staying in the fight. Keep up the good work. May you be matzliach in your journey. 

What does this filter do?
does it work on iOS?