Anger, confusion, sadness....
emotions running deeeeep.
Daddy just hold me tight,
I want to be close to you....
I truly do.
Even if at times I do things that dont seem that way...
Its my pain and loneliness coming out.....
Im in pain...its rooted in deep...at times I forget it....even for a while....
But the me inside wants to be closer to You.
To push open Your gates, run into Your loving embrace, hold me Totty. Show me You care. Thats all I want. 
There is warmth and sunshine out there shining between the clouds, i just need to find it- inside my own heart.
To remember Hes telling me I love you too My son, My prince......
I WANT TO KNOW YOUR PROUD OF ME...
even when I fall You're still holding my hand, never letting go....even when Im rolling through the mud and dirt.
I dont want to fall apart. Running away from my emotions, tears running down my eyes, running, running, running.
Away.
From what?
My guilt.
Relentless guilt.
ITS NOT ME,
I cant forget that. And You Daddy made me this way with my circumstances.
So just accept it. Im not in control. Crying like a child. Cant forget. Everything, AND THAT MEANS EVERYTHING- is from You.
Trying to accept that Im a good person. Maybe 1 day I will BeH accept it.