Statistically, you probably will have some setbacks in recovery. That’s not the end of the world, because If you fall, you can always get back up, right? Not saying you should give yourself a green light to act out on occasion, just trying to understand what’s unsettling you. Could you elaborate on the nervousness?

​

Statistically, you probably will have some setbacks in recovery. That’s not the end of the world, because If you fall, you can always get back up, right? Not saying you should give yourself a green light to act out on occasion, just trying to understand what’s unsettling you. Could you elaborate on the nervousness?

wannachange wrote on 06 Apr 2025 10:40:

I completely relate to this. 

There are a couple of things that help me with it. 

1) ODAAT. One day at a time. To me this means recognizing that I don't have to fight tomorrow's battle right now. I don't even need to deal with the challenge I may face 5 minutes from now until it comes. (I don't mean preparation. Preparation is a good idea. I mean feeling like I need to face, right now, whatever challenge may ever come up.) The challenge of this moment is just for this moment. And that's much more manageable.

2) Not getting bogged down by that thought. And this has two parts to it:

a) recognizing that the thought that "I can't keep this up forever" etc is not what "I" think. Though you may actually think that, inasmuch as you recognize that the thought is not helping and is only harming you can also recognize that you are not having the thought because of a choice to have the thought. There is some subconscious process which is birthing this thought. To recognize that the thought is just "happening" gives you the opportunity to deal with it effectively, which leads to the second point:

b) It may be tempting to try and "fight the thought". By doing something like yelling at it internally "stop telling me I'll fail eventually!" or "it's not true! it's not true!". In my experience this does not help. It only causes a greater preoccupation with the thought. Instead I find it helpful to just shift my focus to something else, after establishing a recognition that the thought is not true and is coming from my subconscious.

So in summary 1) cultivating an awareness that you don't really need to worry about later, just about now 2) recognizing that the thought does not represent reality and is coming from somewhere beyond your direct control, 3) having recognized that shifting focus to something else

Hope this helps you!

:point_up2:This is great stuff.

I'd just add something that sounds counter intuitive, but has worked for many.

Accept the fact that you've fallen, accept the fact that you may fall again.... and it's ok that that possibility exists. I'm not condoning falling. I am merely stating an obvious fact. I believe that if this is digested properly, it can take the pressure off staying clean. 

I use his mentality and I feel it helps in keeping the damned beast at bay.

KOMT!!!!
Muttel

wannachange wrote on 06 Apr 2025 10:40:

Awesome work on the 11 days Brother!

Some great advice already given by Reb ST and Reb Muttel.

When you look down, you can see a long way to fall - it's also a long way you've come. Anyone at the "bottom" looking up at that speck in the sky is thinking WHOAH!!! How'd that guy climb so high? I could never to that. (The answer: he decided he is someone who wannachange).

You are a climber. Successes and potential mistakes transpire and you are still a climber. Will there be a future slip? Maybe, maybe not, but it doesn't matter so much if your identity is not the place you stand but rather the person you are. Where I stand may change from one moment to the next, while who I am is not so easily lost.

Kol Tov

"time2win" Could you elaborate on the nervousness?
nervousness that its going to happen anyway so why bother.....You think youre making yourself stronger....My YH will flex his muscles and show me whos boss....when Im tired and exhausted (cmon its erev pesach, jobbing, cleaning and watching kids in one day!)....just wanna chill with an easy outlet....
​BH not heading there thats not who I am

BenHashemBH wrote on 06 Apr 2025 14:33:

Thanks all for the pump! Definitely the mindset change is a big factor...Like you said its not my identity. Who I am is not where I may slip and fall at some point. I am me. A good healthy person who had to go through circumstances beyond my control (like many others) which created years and years of unhealthy routines. And the process to break out of that Will take longer then a day, a month, or even a year. But even if I fall, that not the real me. OK will try saying this 10X fast every 5 minutes.
Thanks chevra! Heading for 15 BeH

Take off the mask...
dont be scared to see whats underneath....
A Brilliant light shining forth...
which even if covered cannot be fully hidden

Rabbi WannaChange
I am seeing this forum for the first time. 
Welcome to GYE, you made the right choice. You will remember this decision for the rest of your long life. 
Yes, we all go thru the same initial doubts and fears, we are used to living a certain way and we are breaking it. Of course it wont be easy. But it gets easier the longer it goes. 

Yes, I concur with HHM that SSA is a much bigger issue today. I talk to new guys here every day that have SSA. 
But, the bottom line is that its just another form of the addiction. Everyone has a different mind and lusts after something else. But its beatable like anything else. 


Stick around, read posts, go thru the F2F program and learn some tools. Its invaluable. 

Good luck. 

P.S. you can reach out to me via email if you wanna talk more. 
chancygye@outlook.com