Rav wolbe in alei shut writes about the cycles in life between days of Aliya and days of yerida. There are times that everything is going good, the ktzos and nesivos klap and the sugya is clear. Other days it’s a struggle to understand basic rashi. I find a similar correlation with the nisayon. Some days things go easy and I could easily deal with the urge and triggers. Other days it’s a real struggle and sometimes I fall. Even the tools that I’ve picked up don’t seem to work.
Today is one such day. Despite working on shmiras eiynayim I saw something on the way to yeshiva. In the bais Medrash I haven’t been able to focus and my chavrusa says my svaros make no sense. It’s pashut not happening.
I’m going to keep on plugging and fight the inertia. Rav Wolbe says that these times are the best opportunities to shteig if we persevere. I have been doing well and will not fall.
