Hey brothers! :punch:Hey brothers! 

I’m right there with you all .

I’ve started the 90-day journey multiple times and made it to 60+ days, but I’ve never quite made it to 90. It’s something that’s been bothering me for a while now, and I wanted to share my thoughts with you.

It seems like the forum is really focused on “clean days,” but I know many of us are still in the middle of the fight. For someone like me, it can be discouraging when a slip-up sets me back to zero, especially when I’ve been putting in the effort every day.

So, I had an idea: What if we could track both “clean days” and “fighting days”? Maybe even create a space in the forum specifically for those still in the fight? For so many of us, the fact that we keep going, even after a fall, should count for something. It’s about resilience and not giving up, no matter how many times we stumble.

I’m not against the concept of “clean days” at all—I know they help many people—but I think we also need a way to recognize the effort of those who are still working through the struggle.

What do you all think? I’d really love to hear your thoughts and ideas .

let's go

We need people on board.
can the moderator help us?

I totally hear the idea.

If I may make a counterpoint, and maybe some food for thought.

There’s been a lot of discussion lately on other threads about streaks. I totally agree with everything that’s been said. I would perhaps argue the other side for a moment, not because I disagree with all the important points made lately, but rather to kind of bring out the other side of all this.

The bottom line is, that the reason why “clean days” are emphasized here versus “fighting days”, is because as probably most people here on this site know all too well, we tend to rationalize certain behaviors, as we have done for years. All too often, a guy can be lulled into a sense of comfort and complacency by seeing an impressive “fighting day” streak, while in reality he is still trapped in the vicious cycle of PMO-Regret/T’shuvah-Bad Feelings Wears Off-Repeat.

So, the clean day streak is very helpful in showing a guy who’s been masturbating daily or weekly, to start putting some space between the falls, all the while learning how to change stuff inside, how to deal with urges, how to deal with uncomfortable emotions etc.

I think its fair to say that yes, despite all the inherent truths about it not being all about the streak, at the end of the day, it shows us real progress, as chaimoigen said, the cumulative effects of a lengthy streak are often where real strides of inner change take place. It shows that I am dealing with the general stresses of life in a healthier way without turning to the “bottle” for every little ache or pain.

That does not mean that a fall destroys everything, not at all! That does not mean there was no growth. Rather what it means is that you can still be reaching for your drug in times of need, and the longer you last, the more you’re ingraining the idea that PMO is just not a solution of any kind to my problems.

Of course, “effort” has infinite value, and we should be proud of heroic efforts. Truly. And there’s a wealth of ink spilled on this idea here. But as a metric for actual inner change, is it fair to wonder if a fellow who’s putting in herculean efforts to stay clean and still falls to PMO every week or two, is it fair to question whether he is still indeed trapped in a vicious cycle?

So, in that sense, perhaps the idea of clean days is pretty important? I’m just throwing out these thoughts, tell me what you think!

I was actually just discussing with someone what's going to be if (when?) A fall occurs?
and I thought perhaps I can set my goal for 90 days and if somethinghappens at day 50 I startcounting 50 +1 etc. Till 50 +40 this way I can try tokeep my momentum, and the goal would be to get there asap

To add on to youknowwho , considering that most of us have struggled for a while and probably have tried stopping many times I feel it to be unwise to have in mind while were still clean and streaks building to pat ourselves on the back when we fall because we had a good streak,     100% after a fall thats the mehalech ,but there should be nothing negotiable before, we gotta drill it in I AM STOPPING FOREVER (I'm very far from this madreiga) and drill in i dont need a release I'm fine without it.  My thoughts feel free to disagree. 

I'm not thinking along the lines of counting fighting days, I'm thinking more of counting and restarting the count while remembering what I have accomplished recently for example 25 +20 etc.
what do others think?

For my situation I say that I have been clean for over a year but my streak is around 300 days. I think people focus too much in the streak and restart if they fall which leaves behind all the days they've been clean.
One Day At A Time!! (Not one streak at a time)