AN OPEN LETTER TO MY LUST
I failed miserably
I had a fall
Why did I do it?
What is not good in my life that I have to run to porn?
I was on the way up already, I rocked 21 days clean, I thought that I'm immunized against this infection, but you caught me again off guard in a lonely moment, and you got me, you got me good
You told me that this is going to make me feel better, you told I need it, you told me lets do it quickly and everything is going to be ok
BUT YOU BETRAYED ME
You made me feel more lonely, you made me feel more down, you made me feel more depressed, you made me feel ashamed, you made me feel hopeless
Non of the glorious stuff that you promised you delivered
YOU JUST BETRAYED ME
You are so strong, you pull me like a thousand magnets, you have so much horsepower
once I acted out on you, I realized how weak you are, no comfort, no help, no reclining, no fulfillment, you didn’t deliver anything that you promised
YOU BETRAYED ME
I know that you know your game very well, it wont take to long and you will come back to me in a sensitive moment and offer me all your glorious bluff, but I hope to remember what you did to me now
YOU BETRAYED ME
You know my week times and spots better than I do, but I'm going to take the next few days to learn by myself what my weakness are, so you don’t have to tell me
YOU BETRAYED ME
One thing you should know: I'm going to fight you till the end, I know that it's going to be a bloody fight, I might even lose a limb or so on the way, but you should know that I'm going to fight you till the end, and I know that I'm going to win, because your fake and untruthful promises have no chance against my inner truth and strength
YOU BETRAYED ME
You want me to fall and never get up, you wanted to kill my ego and life forever, you wanted to kidnap me and torture me forever, but you failed, you failed miserably, I stood up from my fall, and I’m ready to fight, I’m not going to give in to the hopelessness that you want to see, I'm not going to give in to the shame and guilt that you want to see
YOU BETRAYED ME
Even though my heart is broken in two, even though you lured me in to your trap and made me feel like a looser for a moment or two, I won't let you take me over, I won't let you destroy my inner self
You won't ruin my life, because I know that I have a beautiful future ahead of me, and I will fight to get to it till the end
Do I think that the battle is over? NO! But one think I do know I got new weapons now and watch out because I'm coming to get you
AN OPEN LETTER TO MY SELF
Ok enough with the fights, enough focused on lust, now please let me focus on me, I got some digging to do.
When I have a moment when I'm down – I have to cheer myself up
When I feel depressed – I have to find an activity I like
When my self-esteem is low – I have to remind myself who my real self is
When I fell board – I have to do something meaningful
When I feel defeated – I have to remind myself that this is a war zone, and everybody is looking up to me to get back up and fight back, I can’t even take a minute break, I’m on the front lines of this battle field
Yes I had my falls – but I also had my winning days
Yes I got dirty – but I have my clean days
Yes I got beaten up – but this my mission
Yes you got me again – but I'm here to fight
Dear Mr. Aron,
When you take away all of the shame, when you peel off all of the guilt, you will find a shining diamond inside of you
I know that you are going thru tough times now, but your inner self is getting washed and rubbed, I know that you getting pressed and beaten up so badly, but you need this in order to enable your inner self to become a shining diamond, that no money in the world can buy
It will come a time in life when you will look back to your struggles and thank them for making you the person that you are
I know it’s hard, I know its tempting but at the end of the day your hard work will pay off
I know that you might feel shattered, I know that you might be broken, its OK, but you got to remember this is not you, this is your bad behavior, this is the wrong directions that you took some time, but you can always get back on the right track and continue climbing
Does it feel like a never-ending mountain? That’s true, but look up to the people that are on the top of the mountain and they will tell you that there is an end, and there is a priceless reward at the end
You might be bloody, you might be sweating, but its only because you are climbing the biggest mountain on earth
Don’t let your feelings fool your self, don’t look back, because you might get frightened, just look up and keep climbing
You have a wife and kids who look up to you, you have a family that you have to be a role model to
You are making a foot path, you are creating a trail for others to follow you, don’t give up, keep climbing so others don’t have to fall and trip on those stones on the way
Beloved I Try, you got to let yourself heal from the wounds, you got to take some time and really dig into your inner self, and expose your inner shinning, your true strength, rub off all the dirt, and dig deep into yourself and discover your hidden strengths and shine
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
Keep climbing, don’t give up, there is a reward waiting for you at the end, don’t let those stones get you down, climb over them and continue your journey to success
A broken heart that goes thru surgery
