Help613, it's obvious that a lot of Kedusha is hidden in your soul... It needs to find the proper expression, and we hope that through therapy/SA you will learn to be a new person.
I loved Rage's post on Torah vs. Working, and I also loved everyone's responses! They are both right, of course. It's all about balance.
There's a story in Tana Dibei Eliyahu about a fisher-man who told Eliyahu that he is simply not cut-out for learning. Eliyahu asked him to explain how he catches fish and he launched into a long and detailed explanation on how to make the nets and the art of catching the fish, etc... Said Eliyahu to him, you see that you are capable of mastering a complex art/job when you WANT TO.
In other words, every yid is cut out for learning, but he has to WANT TO. That's number 1.
Number 2, we can always find things that we enjoy learning more than Gemara and Tosfos... For example, maybe you joy more just plain Bekiyus, without the pilpul of Tosfos and Rishonim... Or perhaps you enjoy Halacha more, or even Medrash and Agadeta? Every Yid has a chelek in Torah.
And number 3, like someone mentioned here, we need to let go of the lust before the Torah can enter us properly. Torah is like water, it takes the shape of the vessel it is in. If the vessel is crooked, well... don't expect Torah to save you. The beauty is Torah is far more subtle than the over-powering desires of our physical senses. If we are enslaved to them, there's no chance that the subtle but beautiful melody of Torah will be heard.
See
this page for many great Torah ideas...