Just tipping you all off, my mind has been racing all day, ye no ye no....

parev wrote on 28 May 2024 09:37:

At the risk of sounding redundant, I say: you're amazing. You're literally standing by the קובה של זונות (which I see you're trying to figure out how to extricate yourself from it) and holding off, אשריך!!

Muttel

She's not a Zona - She's my [ex] friend!!!!!
Chizzuk is never redundant!
Its impressive how you are inspired instead of saying you filthy guy for getting yourself into that mess in the first place...

Contemplating why these sudden urges,
partly because I'm not getting it at home, don't know if there is a solution for that
Its no excuse and surrender is the key, but just sharing for now

parev wrote on 28 May 2024 13:15:

2 points here:

a) Relative to your current situation she absolutely is a זונה. She is a strange woman as far as relations is concerned and she's a total whore.

b) If I'd look at your situation as one of filth, you'd need to tell me - קשוט עצמך!!! I've been in vulnerable, fragile positions before and learned not to be judgmental. However, I truly am inspired by your will to hold one, and I'm sure you'll find a way to cut this (ex) friend out of your life (as far as sex goes).

hatzlacha!
Muttel

Yeah, I concur. It sounds pretty whorey to me. Also, I don't have any "friends", even platonic ones, from the opposite gender. 

Sorry for being harsh. I think you're doing great and you should keep on shteiging, but let's call a spade a spade.

Wa'ever

parev wrote on 28 May 2024 20:58:

Sure, feel free to sneer at us simpletons, who just don't have the emotional depth and range of experiences to possibly appreciate a deep bond with another woman. 

But answer me this: Would you EVER have been "friends" with this person, were it not for the fact that she was/is a promiscuous זונה who was willing to sleep with a married man, and who still continues to try to win him back?

Would you ever have developed an interest in her as a person if she was ugly or unable to have sex with you?

I mean, who are we kidding here?

If we're wrong, please educate us, because this is a bit baffling, and a bit entertaining to be honest, for those of us with these deathly boring vanilla lives and only one female emotional friend (our wives).

parev wrote on 28 May 2024 09:37:

when in doubt, ask your wife, she has בינה יתירה.

"Wa'ever" is the english translations of הנעלבים ואינם עונים וכו
Some guys here are trying hard to push my buttons....

cande wrote on 28 May 2024 23:40:

Coolest idea
Never thought of that.

The reason I think why i'm so pent up, is the frustration I have at home [see my thread in the BB section.]
I have an appointment with a therapist who deals with these things, on Monday, lets see if she can solve the problem without my wife attending sessions.
The only way forward is total surrender but now i'm feeling is it really worth it?
Of course your all gonna shout about the aviera and the cheating etc but that's not what talks to me [regarding this] at the moment.
I don't want a Sur mera type of incentive I want an asay tov type - ie why my life will be better, not why it will get worse.
Coz now i''m feeling quite lousy 

parev wrote on 29 May 2024 04:57:

No-one is trying to push your buttons. Certainly not the people that are answering you . Not the button pushing type at all. 
People just dont understand you. 

Well correct me if I’m wrong but it seems like you’re asay tov strategy would be to stop feeling lousy. I get it circular logic but hey it works on occasion. Also it seems like being more present in the present would be a great help to you again easier said then done but perhaps once again there is your asay tov motivation.

redfaced wrote on 29 May 2024 12:22:

Speak for yourself, Mad-Eye. I'm actually a proud button pusher, which is why I usually try to keep my big mouth shut. 'O course, not always met with much success.  

BBQous Popcornious Majorous!