parev wrote on 09 Jun 2024 23:47:

Methinks this belongs in the Grouchery

We all do that. That's why some hidden tzaddik created Langover. Here you go:

Discovered a new trigger - not feeling good with my self because of time mismanagment...
Was hoping s’somthing’ would happen today, feel like a dry drunk, just a little bit better because I at least surrendered going to tel aviv...

Quite the trick . What else you got up your sleeve?

ok, this time typing in english!
my sponsor is pushing me off to continue stepwork [maybe tll sunday] i feel i am in a precarious place [and told him so]
just for today...

YT Sheini!

Just saying hi cuz I could!

SisonYishecha wrote on 13 Jun 2024 04:37:

Wanna join me @ the beach?

I keep talking about the problem, but thats where im holding.
The only reason I didn't act out today [and I mean actual acting out...] is coz I didnt have the oppertunity.
I didnt email 'her' coz didnt want rejection, didn't approach girls on the beach coz wasnt in the mood for that whole spiel [still tired from shavuos night]  but thats where im holding right now.
DIdn't get a smartphone [and then tinder...] coz didnt want to feel like a looser [getting a phone just for one day and then trashing it]
Its like its too much work to act out, but wish it would be much simpler....
But im sober [except for alooooot of oogeling]
no cheshek to learn....
dunno...
Should get some sleep i suppose

SisonYishecha wrote on 13 Jun 2024 04:37:

Thanks for bringing on the Two day/One day debate! 

#TwoDayYomTovInEY

Parev, maybe you should keep two days?

Maybe I should keep 365 days...

hate posting but ont have a choice
went to a recovery day, got all nervous about STI - had a really rough experienace, wanna go to tel aviv t flirt and numb the pain....
NEED TO WOK THE STEPS - sponsors  not too forth coming
waaever
very frustrated about intimacy in the bedroom, have no koach to do anything about it gonna cost time mone and getting wife on board
doesnt feel like a priorty though coz it will drive her nuts
life feels sh*tty [how do i say that in a nice way?] although its not really
have ZERO cheshek to shlep myself to the mir tommorow

Wow, sounds rough brother. My path has been peanuts compared to yours, don’t know how you keep going!

here’s a friendly hug and a wish from afar that you should have the koach to move ahead and keep trucking. 

with much love and admiration,
Muttel

Im new here so idk the crew but reb parve is really inspiring!
i get chizuk from reading your posts

Sorry about what you're going through. I don't understand all the code. Are you worried you got STI at the recovery day event?
I'd suggest to just go, in order to say hi to Eddie and get a hug from him. He doesn't judge you.

Hi All!
SOOO it's like this:
1] Came to the realization that my want to act out is to numb the yuchy feeling I have
2] If i'm not gonna feel better by staying sober then there is no point
3] Lemmasa I acted out [will spare you the gory details]
4] lied to my sponsor [coz otherwise he will make me wait ANOTHER 30 days to continue the steps]
5] He gave me the pink slip
6] Felt WORSE than ever before - esp since I don't know of an available replacement sponsor
7] Spoke to Harav Eerie for some chizuk
8] Spoke to Rabbienu Dov who was very understanding [and baffled by this 1 month thing]
9] Told me that a sponsor is not l'ikuva and i should work the steps on my own to the best of my ability
10] Making GYE my Sponsor - I will have to check in here Ups AND Downs IYH!
Honesty is the KEY
If I sound like I'm only doing well PLEASE call me out for not being honest...
The new rule is: Feedback is always allowed unless specified otherwise!