I've been in the fight for quite some time now. Using the FTF program and learning all the strategies. However, one challenge still arises all the time, and that is the fact that I live in a home with 3 unfiltered devices that I have access to. I have tried all the basics, including asking the owners of the devices to change the password MULTIPLE times, but they either lie to me that they change it, or they change it to something very guessable (changing 1 number, etc.). I opened up to one of these people who own these devices who once caught me watching porn to change the password, but he once again changed the password to something very guessable (after numerous requests). To be fair, I only told him that he knows that I once struggled with this and I didn't tell that I still do because I belive that it will cause more harm than help, as the first time he caught me, he called me very derogatory things and I am still traumatized to some extend by that event. My devices are fully filtered (and I'm paying good money for them to be so) but it makes no difference as I am still surrounded by all these devices. I have made "muktsa" contracts with my co pilot, stating that if I use one of these devices I have to pay a hefty "knas", but I always find a loophole around the contract. I am out of ideas as to what to do. Has anyone been in a similar situaition and know what to do?  

I wish I had something to tell you. Was in similar situation for a while and fell. Just letting you know that I feel for you and care for you. And davening for you. Keep us posted, want to hear if you find something

dave955 wrote on 11 Dec 2022 16:34:

Yes, work a program.

Godspeed

You mentioned that you have a "co pilot". Do you also use him as an accountability partner? To be able to reach out to him when you find yourself in a weak tempting moment which many people find this to be a strong help and deterrent from falling? 

I also wanted to point out the any degrading words that you were told should be ignored and considered non-sense. You're living with such enormous nisyonos and you're fighting the good fight, reaching out for help and ideas to be able to stay strong! Gibor!

We know that if someone sees that he has a challenge in fulfilling a certain mitzvah then he knows it's one of the missions he was brought into the world for and the fact he has this challenge shows he can overcome it. It seems like this generation has been given a challenge like no other but the fact we have the challenge means we have the power to overcome it.

Stay strong!

Thanks so much for the much needed chizuk.

Yes I do use my co-pilot as my accountability partner also, but in moments of very strong temptation, I still feel like having these devises around can be an issue.
I have decided to confront these people in my life about my problem. Me and my accountability partner are now working on a way to tell them. I am feeling extremly anxious and nervous about this. I have no idea how they will react to learn that I am still struggling, but its what I must do so they can understand that I need to live in a safe enviorment and get to freedom

dave955 wrote on 12 Dec 2022 16:50:

Amazing courage! With this attitude and approach you will definitely find your true path the sobriety and cleanliness BE"H! 
Keep it up!

dave955 wrote on 11 Dec 2022 16:34:

I used to have the same issue about finding loopholes, but each time i found a loophole and fell, i then felt horrible and i "closed" the loophole. hope this helps

unorthodox suggestion -- use your knowledge of the passwords to install a basic filter that will report to the device owner if you try to access questionable site. this way you can use your fear of getting found out to your advantage.

i am also struggling with filters and my ability to bypass them when lust overtakes me so i feel you man. what im trying now is to leave my smartphone filtered by Google Family Link at my work locker while its admin or parent password is in a sefer at home. still not foolproof but im hopeful it can lessen my own falling to the nisayon

ILAHCFM wrote on 13 Dec 2022 09:53:

this. i have only gradually built up my own filters because after falling i felt guilty and closed down loopholes. so the falls could be helpful after all haha. still an ongoing process for me -- why cant all these loopholes disappear overnight or maybe my ability to find them:cool: