1.1. -Disclaimer about the mikveh.
If one believes that there is a chance he will act on his desires, (not anxiety or worry he will act, actual logical reason to believe he may not be able to control his desires, then g-d forbid please don't go anywhere near the mikveh.

1.2. -Disclaimer 2.0. I am not saying it is the norm. I'm trying to point out that one who has such desires or feelings is not "not normal". One is not a creep or a molester for having the feelings/desires.

2.1. -To the first point of yours,--of course one who has logical reason to believe he will act on his desires certainly should avoid any compromising position i.e. the mikvah, a rebbi position or counselor. but I believe that most of us can control our urges with all the consequences of acting on them. If you cant, or have logical reason to believe you cant, of course please do not put yourself in a compromising position.

2.2. -Problem is, when we can't share our feelings/desires and get reassurance that we are normal, it causes us so much unnecessary anxiety. And then so many people who would not have a problem at all controlling their desires, start having anxiety and think "uh oh, maybe I'm the type of guy who has forbidden desires that makes me crazy" "Uh oh what if I do something terrible" even if there it is not based in logic but rather anxiety.
And then we start avoiding things that will trigger our anxiety.   We stop enjoying life experiences that are enjoyable. Take mikvah for example. Mikvah is a beautiful thing. We are getting pure. We are doing it even though it takes considerable vulnerability. But when someone is forced to believe he is terrible, the whole experience is ruined. Its just obsessions, frustrations, worries and anxiety's. The Jewish world I believe is unfortunately 20+ yrs behind the non Jewish community on this. I am very open about my feelings and desires and therefore have been privileged to earn the trust of countless individuals who "came out" to me and shared their "hidden desires".

To your second point. "Normal" and "regular" I believe, is defined by commonality. One cant say "the world isn't the norm" The norm is what is common. And here are some notes to look up on the commonality. Numerous studies show various attractions are regular. I investigated some of the studies and I want to give you a TRIGGER WARNING. I put in a spoiler to make my post more read-able. I want to reitirate. Im not saying it is the norm. I'm saying you are not a creep or molester for having the feelings.

3.1. -Here's the footnotes and sources

Warning: Spoiler!

Sexual Desire Among an Online Sample of Men Sexually Attracted ...https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov › ...

Search for: What percentage of the population is attracted to minors?Sexual attraction to children occurs in roughly 3 to 9 percent of the population.

Most men are ephebophiles...https://www.reddit.com › unpopularopinion › comments

Hebephilia is a Crime, Not a Mental Disorder - Psychiatric Timeshttps://www.psychiatrictimes.com › view › hebephilia-cri...

https://simple.wikipedia.org › wiki › ephebophilia  Adults whose primary or exclusive sexual attraction is for late to post-pubescent teens (ages 15 to 19) are properly called Ephebophiles, but ephebophilia is not considered abnormal by mental health professionals.

Pedophilia: A guide to the disorder - The Weekhttps://theweek.com › articles › pedophilia-guide-disorderAbout 4 percent of the population is believed to have pedophilic urges. Psychologists now categorize it as a sexual orientation much like heterosexuality and ...

Media Coverage of Pedophilia: Benefits and Risks from ...https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov › articles › PMC7460489by D Stelzmann · 2020 · Cited by 21 — Approximately 1 to 5% of the male population is estimated to have pedophilia [1,2,3], that is, a sexual interest in children [4]. Despite common ...‎Introduction · ‎Methods · ‎Results · ‎Discussion

Is hebephilia normal? - ResearchGate  https://www.researchgate.net › post › Is_hebephilia_normalSexual research shows that the sexual arousal of a male from a teenager is entirely normal. Hebephilia Is also normal (persistent and dominant sexual ..

3.2. -In other words anywhere from 1-9% of people are attracted to children and the numbers of people attracted to teenagers is way higher. Even if we say its just 20% total. Lets get the numbers,

-25% of the worlds population is under 13 so they are not being included here.
-Half of the remaining 75% (37.5) are woman. and we are only going to mention men. 
-So 37.5% of the world can be classified as adult males of "attraction/desires age"
We then take 20% of this demographic, and we have the amount of people (roughly) how have "unique/different" desires.

We are then talking about, over 24 million men in the US (24,877,500). Almost 700,000 men in New jersey (695,025) and over 10 thousand men in Lakewood, (10,354).  702,300 in Israel, 2,868,750 in Canada 9,750,000 in Mexico 4,198,500 in England and over 600 million men worldwide. These statistics do not even include woman.

Warning: Spoiler!

3.3. -And regardless of were the feeling and desires come from they are common. I happen to agree that {in most cases} they are not natural but rather nurture derived attractions (emotional neglect/trauma). But who cares were it comes from? What I care about is the commonality. Commonality is what makes something normal, not its origins.

I want to reiterate. I'm not saying everyone has these feelings. It isn't THE norm. You should not expect the people around you to be challenged with your specific subset of feelings and desires, but rather that enough people have these feelings for us to be deemed within-the-norm of regular human beings.

Out of the 20 or so percent of us who have  'different' desires we are further divided into multiple categories. So each category alone isn't too common. (Lets average it out based on the research. We are talking about around 3% of people are attracted to pedophilia, 5% to hebephilia,  8% ephebophilia, 4% gerontophilia, and 4% SSA, and 1% numerous other things,- fetishes included. So we are talking about a small but significant amount of people for each attraction group). Yet when put together, it becomes more then just significant. It becomes within-the-norm of human desires to have interesting attractions. You are not a creep, you are not a molester. You are within the norm-of-human desires. While we have desires that may not be the norm. We are still not "an other".

--Why do so many people not understand how common it is?
--Why do so many people think they are "crazy" "molesters" "creeps"? I think the answer is simple.

5.1. -Firstly, so many of us have desires we have never even met, because they are too dangerous for us to bring to our consciousness, so we squash them as if they don't exist in order to feel more comfortable.  

5.2. -Secondly, the people who don't have the challenge of being attracted to a forbidden genders/age groups/fetishes and don't know how common it is and think its bad/unhealthy/wrong, will never gain the trust of anyone who has this challenge to share their challenge with them. Why would anyone share their challenge with someone who will tell them "your unhealthy" Your unwell' "get help quick", so the people who think its uncommon stay blissfully ignorant.   Yet the people who have the challenge of having an attraction that they cant act on and have the courage to be open about it, can gain the trust of others who share the challenge too. And yes, the percentage of people who shared with me their struggles and it included an aspect of "creepy"  different/not as common "hidden desires" that can NEVER EVER be leaked, is astronomical.  And yes you'll never know how normal it is if you think its not normal because no one wants to share feelings with someone who will say their not normal..

6.1. - Are these desires healthy or unhealthy?

Definition of unhealthy.
-unhealthy, adjective, un·​healthy, ˌən-ˈhel-thē : not conducive to health

What is unhealthy emotionally? First we got to figure out what emotional health is. This is the best definition I found for emotional health.   www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/schools/deal/deal-resources/emotional-health/emotional-health/

"Emotional health is about how we think and feel. It is about our sense of wellbeing, our ability to cope with life events and how we acknowledge our own emotions as well as those of others. It doesn’t mean being happy all of the time."

We can then definitively give the definition of 'emotionally unhealthy' as something "not conducive to our sense of well being, our ability to cope with life events and as well as being not conducive to an ability for self acknowledgment and acknowledgment of others. So its really based on the general consensus and of individual opinion.

Does the public view pedophilia as "not conducive to our sense of well being" -I think yes. Does the public view pedophilia as something that hinders our ability to "cope with life events"? -Some yes some no.

Does the public view hebephilia as "not conducive to our sense of well being" -I think yes. Does the public view hebephilia as something that hinders our ability to "cope with life events"? -Some yes some no. 

Does the public view ephebophilia, gerontophilia, SSA, or fetishes  as "not conducive to our sense of well being" -I think no. Does the public view ephebophilia, gerontophilia, SSA, or fetishes as something that hinders our ability to "cope with life events"? -I think no.

And this is all public perception. So with the exception of pedophilia and hebephilia, the public in my opinion considers almost all unique attractions "emotionally healthy"
i believe that the footnote below is the publics perception of attraction to teenagers and the like.

"Ephebophilia is used only to describe the preference for mid-to-late adolescent sexual partners, not the mere presence of some level of sexual attraction.[1] Generally, the preference is not regarded by psychologists as a pathology, as long as it does not interfere with other major areas of one's life. It is not included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5) or the ICD-10.[2]"


-What about personal opinion? This makes a big difference. Unlike physical health in which the definition is black and white, either its good for the body or not, whether something is emotionally unhealthy, varies by the person. For one person Ephebophilia might be very "unconducive to our sense of well being" and might make him very unable "cope with life events", while for another person feelings of pedophilia might very well be "not conducive to our sense of well being" (i think we can all agree on that) it may nevertheless not at all hinder him from "coping with life events". 

Point is, its a person to person basis if something is conducive to them or not. I'm sure in countries where the legal age of consent is lower, it is very conducive, while in country's of older consent is is lesser. It varies by religion. It varies by how strong ones desires are. It varies if that is the only attraction one has or its one of a few or many.
aka--- worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/age-of-consent-by-country     

In summary, If various unique desires are emotionally healthy or not, varies on many variables. Every person is different, pedophilia being the exclusion.

6.2.- Do we need help?
I think you now know the answer. If your attraction is emotionally unhealthy for you then its time to reach out for help, because if it is "not conducive to your sense of well being, or your ability to cope with life events and it also is not conducive to helping you grant yourself self acknowledgment and​ acknowledgment of others" then it is time for you to help your life be better. So of course you should reach our for help.

6.3. -Do we need to go to therapy?
Here's were it gets simpler. Going to therapy means going to a professional. If you need a professional then definitely go to therapy. We all have different opinions of what are examples of "you need a professional" I think there are definitely a few we can agree on. 1- Your at risk for hurting yourself or others. 2-your at risk for doing things illegal. 3- As a result of your desires/feelings you cant function with day to day responsibility's. 4- Because of your feelings/desires, you are unable to have safe stable relationships. 5-Becouse of your feelings/desires you are overeating, using an addictive substance, gambling, drinking or doing anything else dangerous or damaging to avoid your feelings. There are countless more, but that's up to everyone's personal opinion.

I do want to add, that one who needs a professional and instead goes to a rebbi/mentor/chizzukdude/ is not only not helping himself, he is damaging himself. If you need a professional- GO TO A PROFFESIONAL.

"I want to reiterate. I'm not saying everyone has these feelings. It isn't THE norm. You should not expect the people around you to be challenged with your specific subset of feelings and desires, but rather that enough people have these feelings for us to be deemed within-the-norm of regular human beings.

Out of the 20 or so percent of us who have  'different' desires we are further divided into multiple categories. So each category alone isn't too common. (Lets average it out based on the research. We are talking about around 3% of people are attracted to pedophilia, 5% to hebephilia,  8% ephebophilia, 4% gerontophilia, and 4% SSA, and 1% numerous other things,- fetishes included. So we are talking about a small but significant amount of people for each attraction group). Yet when put together, it becomes more then just significant. It becomes within-the-norm of human desires to have interesting attractions. You are not a creep, you are not a molester. You are within the norm-of-human desires. While we have desires that may not be the norm. We are still not "an other"."