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“Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-)

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TOPIC: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 4298 Views

Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 01 Mar 2022 17:56 #377995

davidt
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Trouble wrote on 01 Mar 2022 17:49:

Shtarkandemotional wrote on 01 Mar 2022 17:03:

Let’s get rid of the fake goal! And realize our real goal.

basically after this long megillah, counting days is pretty darn silly; why does it take 1,233 words to say that? and speaking of fake goals, 90 days might be on top of that list! if you're a hero when you fall on day 43, what level is there higher than that? [oh, because after 90, your mindset will change - bullsh*t! take a survey from this site. even those many who have succeeded in changing mindsets, when did it happen?]

Hey Trouble! Let's not bash the 90 day concept. Even though I also strongly agree that clean streaks do not indicate anything about the person's standing, it's still an amazing tool and deterrent for many people.

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
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Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 01 Mar 2022 18:39 #378001

shtarkandemotional
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Trouble wrote on 01 Mar 2022 17:49:

Shtarkandemotional wrote on 01 Mar 2022 17:03:

There’s often a big struggle that guys fall into after falling.. when they lose they’re streak. Wether they were on day 10,100, or, 1000 if they fall suddenly often they’re hit with a strong blow afterwords of feeling like they’re back to square one. I think this is because in our minds our goal is to reach perfection in this area and the day we’re on would represent how perfect we are in this struggle.. so once we fall and we realize DAY 1 that’s a stab in the chest! I think it’s important to modify and understand our goal! Even if we were on day 10,000 we were never perfect! We might be just like the guy who’s on day 1 who has a tremendous amount of yiras shamayim! Days represents how well our plan is working that’s about it! NOT where we’re holding spiritually! And not how well we’re keeping the Torah in totality! We need to remember not to confuse the two! And therefore if you slipped up and your back to day 1 then you gotta tweak your plan a bit but your not on day 1 spiritually. Your still on the same exact day. And it’s important to remember if your plan worked for many days then perhaps continue the same plan we have to realize we’re never perfect to begin with and if it worked for a long time that’s whats important! Keep that up! we can’t obsess to stop every tiny future thing. Do we do that with other mitzvos?! Take Lashon hara, if your aiming for a plan that’s gonna hold out for the next 100 years then you’ll never be happy with yourself. And you’ll probably shoot yourself after 2 years if you consider yourself on day 1 after slipping once. Unfortunately we do the same in this area cuz we confuse the spirituality goal with the “how long did I not do xyz” goal! Our goal is to keep the Torah to the fullest and this is part of the Torah! And if we fall after 100 days or after 1000 days it makes no difference in regards to that real goal!

Furthermore, we have to be careful not to confuse with day 1 and back to square 1! It’s the farthest thing from the truth! look at the guys that are on day 3,000.. they all had a day 1 on the exact streak that reached to where they’ll holding today! Now take a guy that falls every other day he also is on day 1.. yet his streak cant last to day 3.. how can we say they’re both back to square one once they’re on day 1? They’re totally in different stages! The guy who reached 3,000 days now obviously on day 1 had a whole lot of experience! Of skills that he developed through years of fighting. Lots of insight etc. we’re never back to square one regardless of our day number.

In fact I would suggest to say after a fall if you learn from it and reflect on it, we should add 10 days to our original number because we’re so ahead- we have a whole fall we learnt from.

Let’s get rid of the fake goal! And realize our real goal.

As DavidT said, it worked for many it’s a nice deterrent from falling. I’m just trying to point out what to be careful to look out for when using that mehalech. I personally feel it doesn’t do much for me.. it only backfired. Yet there’s something about it that is helpful, when a person knows that he hasn’t done something in a long time it keeps the momentum going. Yet in my life I out weighed the pros and cons and if someone wants to really see success there’s ways to keep the momentum without this perfectionist mehalech. However it still worked for some people during the times they were strong on the streak…

“Distancing and removing triggers is only bringing the door closer..Changing the insides and our nature is the key to get in.”

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https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/376994-%E2%80%9CShtark%E2%80%9D-insight-that-may-make-you-%E2%80%9Cemotional%E2%80%9D-%29

Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 01 Mar 2022 19:57 #378007

trouble
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DavidT wrote on 01 Mar 2022 17:56:

Trouble wrote on 01 Mar 2022 17:49:

Shtarkandemotional wrote on 01 Mar 2022 17:03:

Let’s get rid of the fake goal! And realize our real goal.

do i need to do it on the other site? and i was "bashing" based upon the poster's megillah.

i'm all about that (substantial) bass, no trouble ....

if you're looking for trouble, you can email me @trouble69gye@outlook.com

Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 01 Mar 2022 21:14 #378009

davidt
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Trouble wrote on 01 Mar 2022 19:57:

DavidT wrote on 01 Mar 2022 17:56:

Trouble wrote on 01 Mar 2022 17:49:

Shtarkandemotional wrote on 01 Mar 2022 17:03:

Let’s get rid of the fake goal! And realize our real goal.

do i need to do it on the other site? and i was "bashing" based upon the poster's megillah.

You can do it right here. As long as we're open and tolerant to all points of view and we let each person try and see what works for them.
We know you're not looking for trouble (look in the mirror

)

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @ ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 04 Mar 2022 05:55 #378117

shtarkandemotional
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Many guys often feel they lost everything after a fall. Think about it this way.. next year will I feel this day has effected my growth? Truth is often no, It won’t. Yet we just drill into the fall and make it feel like we lost everything. Its important to get right back up and continue the consistency! And we won’t even remember this day! However if we break ourselves now and make this a huge event.. surely next year we’ll feel this has impacted our growth.. it stopped our consistency. Our passion to succeed. Etc. I like to often say.. “the fall itself doesn’t REALLY mess up our streak—What we do AFTER the fall messes it up!”

Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 07 Mar 2022 22:19 #378259

shtarkandemotional
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Sometimes one may feel some sort of a build up or a need to relieve feelings and masturbation does a good job with that so we go and masturbate and we use it as our pacifier. A very big way to retrain this thought pattern and avoid many falls would be to constantly tell ourselves “I don’t need masturbation! Rather I need to feel good and masturbation is just one of the options that’ll help me fill that!”

Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 07 Mar 2022 22:26 #378260

shtarkandemotional
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Theres many aspects to the struggle with lust. The most stressed upon tool in general of breaking free is the idea of reducing triggers.. so it would be blocking internet, and perhaps not going to specific places. And of course blocking up all the loopholes and filters etc, it’s important to remember this is just one aspect. We must realize there’s another aspect that’s very crucial to work on! That is our brains and our mindsets. The way we trained ourselves to certain things we need to realize that in order to successfully break free there’s a requirement for inner work, to change our attitude and our view of things. It’s not all about changing our surroundings(phone, internet, what we read/watch etc) it’s about changing ourselves and our attitude towards those things. We have to build the value system daily from within, and the clarity. And not only distance ourselves from the enemy!

Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 07 Mar 2022 22:29 #378261

shtarkandemotional
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A small tip for when feeing weak: Thank Hashem for where you’ve gotten until now. Express how lucky you are to get up to this minute! And thank him for allowing it to happen. Talk to Him for a few minutes. This should help you refocus and realize that you don’t wanna give in rather perhaps you want to distract yourself or get a relief from something else. After all.. why not? It always passes anyway.

Last Edit: 07 Mar 2022 22:29 by shtarkandemotional.

Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 07 Mar 2022 23:41 #378262

vehkam
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IMHO the mindset aspect is way more important then the “filter” aspect especially for someone that already has had a fall.

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Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 07 Mar 2022 23:41 #378263

mc431 Current streak: 4 days OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 4 Karma: 0	Thank you. Just want I needed and at the perfect time. Having a very stressful day. This is helping.

Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 08 Mar 2022 17:43 #378292

shtarkandemotional
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Just read this post from davidT I think this should be stressed upon as much as possible!

The truest test of an eved Hashem is davka when Hashem takes everything away from him, such as when he falls and feels no inspiration, no emotion and no Hislavus. That's the moment of truth where a person can ask himself honestly, “am I an eved Hashem because it's my nature and/or because it keeps me emotionally happy, or do I serve the Almighty because that's His will and nothing else?”

The Be’er Mayim Chayim says that in the army, when they would want to test a great soldier to see if he's fit to be a general, they would put him on a wild horse that was impossible not be thrown off of. Although no one could stay on that horse, the test was only to see how fast he would get back up after he was brutally thrown down and wounded

Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 10 Mar 2022 04:37 #378383

shtarkandemotional
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Saw this line somewhere! Found it inspiring and true!

If a person falls apart when he ruins his ‘perfect streak’, that means he wasn’t not serving Hashem; he’s serving himself.

Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 10 Mar 2022 23:35 #378435

committed_togrowth Current streak: 282 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 245 Karma: 23	Reading this caused a bit of a paradigm shift for me in my avodah thank you

Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 11 Mar 2022 00:09 #378436

shtarkandemotional
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Shtarkandemotional wrote on 07 Mar 2022 22:26:

Changing our attitude and forming a foundation is a very big process. unfortunately the longest and hardest step is to come to the realization that our attitude needs to change. People hate realizing that there’s something their doing wrong. And it’s hard to come to that realization especially when it’s admitting their mehalech had been wrong all along. The process is usually to go from filter to filter and for some from Kenas to kenas and the best of us like this often are very growth oriented and we think “how we can avoid a future fall based on the circumstance I was in” which is so good and important yet we have to think how can I improve my mindset!?! How can I build my clarity so if I use an unfiltered device at times my value system will still be rock solid and I won’t budge!! How can I keep my feelings and thoughts from after falling the same as when I’m 300 days in?! It’s very important to create kosher and trigger free circumstances for ourselves yet it’s important to make our decisions solid! our clarity concrete! and gain the correct perspective and finally overcome lust and all it’s friends.