Day 5!!!!
just a regular day oh and it’s Purim Katan so Shachris was short…..
Bez”H it will be another clean day!!!
positive vibes!!!!!

Today is day 6!!!! Tomorrow would have been day 30….  but I’m looking at the past 29 days and I can say that for the first time in my life I only did this stuff 1/30 instead of what was usually 1/2 or on a good week 1/5….. 
that’s insane!!!!!!
Im sitting here sipping my coffee in a coffee shop outdoor seating so much more in peace with myself than a couple of weeks ago!!!! 
no I don’t need to look at the group of girls desperately trying to get peoples attention sitting not far from me. I’ve got my ear buds in with some good country music…. Im busy now with real stuff no need for that fake stuff I’m feeling strong now but I need to remind myself that I was feeling really strong on day 23 as well   

I feel like such a Balabus sitting with my latte and my iPhone I should be allowed on the Balabus forum…. 

ok thanks guys!!!!!

oh and Ah freilechen Shushan Purim Katan!!!!!! 

And than I had a fall.

 I was stressed out and instead of dealing with it the proper way (reaching out to someone or going on a walk) I decided to go back to my old fix

my filter was so good that it took me a while to find something lol not funny 

but hey we can only learn from our falls

now what would’ve been day 30 is fall 2/30 but that’s progress……

wth I’m upset with myself 

im being a little bipolar right now 

not sure if I am feeling really guilty or not 

help

i just wanted to be better 

ok tomorrow is another day 

Today will be a clean day.
who cares about yesterday?
who cares about tomorrow?
today is today.

no my Yetzer Hara is not letting me get off easy today…. Hashem I can’t do it alone…. Please I need You to help me!!!!! 

YOU amaze me!!! You have gotten so far already! You are such a good guy. Keep it up.

Ok sorry I missed posting on Friday I was busy… I’m on two days clean but I feel like I can do it!!!
I know it’s going to be a stressful week this week but tonight I will be clean watch me!!!!!

shavua Tov!!!!!

we All got your back!You can definitely do it!
personally, at this point I think it’s my first time In a real long time I’m clean for 2 days in a row. Im going for a week. 

YOU can do it.
Totally rooting for you.

Ok we on Day 3!!
last night was a little challenging.. I got back to Yeshiva really late and I was feeling vulnerable but B”H we good!!!!
today I will be clean Bez”H 

hey keep up the positivity by reading thru your posts i am catching your positivity from you! thanx for inspiring me!  

I was just by Mama Rachel for the first time in my life!!! I was crying so much B”H I was talking to my Mama Rochel I told her that I’m literally named after her Tzadik Yosef and I am being tested like him and I need help. I know she listened!!! As I was walking out someone offered me a book on shmiras einayim!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*

I fell!! Why?!?! 
I was stressed out today and I needed some me time on YouTube (which was supposed to be filtered) and I fell….

but that’s that and now I’m continuing being a clean person…

good night fellows!!!!!

You have such a great attitude and you will come out of this struggle so strong. Keep on posting and we will keep on rooting for you

There's a lot that gets through the safesearch enabled on youtube and if you're using 613tube, although that's much better than using youtube with safesearch enabled, there's still a lot that can get through if you know what you're looking for. When I found about 613 tube I immediately tested to see if the content I wanted to see would pop up when I searched for it, and it did. The content is not fetish related at all, and in my opinion is actually worse than p. When I was younger I would actually prefer to see that stuff than to go on p websites. Most people in the jewish world don't know about it and it should remain that way but youtube is not a safe place to be at all because with just a few select key words you can find that stuff even on 613tube and so much more so on youtube with just safesearch enabled (this setting also really doesn't do anything in regards to that content and not even to simple lingerie content). 

So that's why I don't use youtube at all or 613tube. Maybe consider trying to live without it even though it will be difficult at first. Sorry if I'm coming off a little harsh.