So today is day 90 and I wrote very long story on my thread.  This thread is where I find deep meaning in the journey.  But this one post I want to address something else.

Reb Guard. 

Without him this site is not the same.  His constant work needs to be acknowledged.  Thank you Guard.  Also, without him my story and good bye letter would not have made been nearly as good especially the story one. 

Thank you for the thank you! I edited your 90-day post for today's chizuk e-mail as well 




Actually, our Sages teach us that it works the other way around. As the Pasuk says, "Love your fellow man as yourself, I am your G-d". Only when we act selfless with those around us, can we learn to be selfless with G-d. And the reasoning is, that G-d is abstract. To truly be selfless with an abstract being is much harder. We need to start with those we can see, and then move on to the true G-dly selflessness  And that is why G-d gave us, parents, siblings, children, and especially a wife. They are all there to teach us "selflessness" so we can then move on to doing for G-d with pure motives...

Keep up the beautiful work and inspiration.

MAZAL TOV on 90 days!!!

We're proud of you.

LOOK OUT GUYS THE MOMO'STER IS BACK AND ROARING LOUDER THAN EVER BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!!

ITS A NEW EDITION OF MOMO-MANIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND JUST IN TIME FOR PURIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT COULD BE BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!

imtrying25 wrote on 18 Feb 2010 12:10:


momo back is great!!

I have been thinking about my 90 days and 91st and 92nd days and I want to make something very important to me, public knowledge to the GYE crowd.

I am a firm beleiver you do the best work you can do for yourself in your own thread.  I think it's where we dig the deepest and find the most crucial parts of our recovery.  Having said that, I also think you need to go back and look at your thread and read it often to see how you are getting where you need to be and what you have thought about this all along the way.

BUT, posting in others peoples threads is where you find out that you have thought provoked someone.  That to me is selfless.  If it's a quick repsonse or a long one it does not matter as this has been a constant source for me to go forth on this journey.  (Yiddle2 I had this all written before I read your thread.)

Remember we are here for ourselves first.  Posting in other threads is what makes us understand that we are and always will be here to help others as well.  Getting to each day without others posting in my thread would have been boring.  I have had times that many do not post and I started to think, am I so far off what everyone else is feeling?  I made sure to announce all the names on my 90 post for a reason.  It meant the world to me you stopped by and said something.  Without knowing I had support I would fail.  I have support from my wife, my friends and family.  But I have a GYE family also and supprt from there is not measurable.  I can honestly say, I don't know if I would have made it!!

Couldnt agree more!!!

On project sci1977 I realized something new this morning.  My temper really needs to be looked at internally.  I need to find where my short fuse is and why it explodes sometimes.

sci1977 wrote on 23 Feb 2010 16:50:
Why not just check the fusebox?? I mean thats where the fuses are usually, no?? :-\

very true buddy!! 

Figuring out why we get angry is very important, and can help us learn a lot about which areas we need to grow in.

The figuring out helps but takes time. meanwhile, how to we control our anger while we're waiting for the analyst to get back to us?

prob is emotional reactions happen so fast, there's almost no time in the moment to stop and step back and get perspective.

I think the best way is to role play. Visualize the situations that get us angry, then imagine overcoming the anger till you can be in a calmer made that can deal with the problem at hand. Play it back a few times in your mind, like when you were learning to drive and had to imagine what to do if you would skid on ice. Helps to prepare for the next round. Enough drills, and it should hopefully become second nature to not get angry right away when it comes to the REAL thing.

Also, if we could just train ourselves NOT to react right away, to pause, give ourselves time to think clearly. Then we could ask "how would G-d want me to handle this?"

This is what i've had suggested to me. I'm far from putting it into real practice, but I'm sharing the advice.

I thought I answered you my friend steve.  I am so glad you shared that.  Anger and stress can lead to such bad things. 

Another thing that sometimes helps me is to ask, "Will this matter to me in a week?"  Often the answer is no.

Eye.nonymous wrote on 16 Mar 2010 20:30:


TRUE!!  I said that yesterday to myself.  Is what is happening to me today matter in a few days?  I had to answer myself about 5 mins later and the answer was no.