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Bad fall
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: Bad fall 758 Views

Bad fall 21 Mar 2021 16:35 #365797

I’ve been struggling with masturbation for years and more recently porn I go through ups and downs I’ve been very good lately about staying away from porn even though I was still masturbating a lot. But I just had a bad porn fall. I’m so nervous I’m never gonna be able to get away. I wanna get married and have a good healthy marriage. Are my stupid mistakes I made in life gonna haunt me forever??? I need chizuk!!! 

Re: Bad fall 21 Mar 2021 16:58 #365802

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Welcome Aboard! You certainly came to the right place. While this is a life long struggle for many,there certainly are tools and ideas that help immensely with this. Stick around here. Read through some of the old forums. Reach out to people. BeH you will be matzliach and have a wonderful happy marriage
Don't disappear after your initial despair from this fall wears off!
Hatzlocha

Re: Bad fall 21 Mar 2021 16:59 #365803

  • happyyid
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yct wrote on 21 Mar 2021 16:35:
I’ve been struggling with masturbation for years and more recently porn I go through ups and downs I’ve been very good lately about staying away from porn even though I was still masturbating a lot. But I just had a bad porn fall. I’m so nervous I’m never gonna be able to get away. I wanna get married and have a good healthy marriage. Are my stupid mistakes I made in life gonna haunt me forever??? I need chizuk!!! 

Hi!
Relax, don't be nervous.
This struggle isn't supposed to make a person nervous, of course it's the wrong activities to be doing, but Hashem gave us this nisayon, and even the greatest of great had/has it. 
Don't think you will never get away, if you work on it with a real desire to be clean, you will iyh get away from it. And iyh you'll have a wonderful and healthy marriage!
Your mistakes you made in life will only haunt you if you don't take care of them now. You are still young (I'm assuming) and many only start working on it till later in life, you have a head start.
Just don't give up on trying to overcome this.

We are all here for you.
HappyYid
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread

Re: Bad fall 21 Mar 2021 18:32 #365817

Yeh thanks I’m only 20 I just wanna stop soo badly

Re: Bad fall 21 Mar 2021 18:40 #365818

  • sapy
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Hi yct! Welcome to the club!
You will iyh stop and be clean. We all come from where you are, and bh we are making progress and so will you.
To start, take a few minutes and make a decision, why do you want to stop? Make a list of pros and cons, and come to a clear conclusion, if and why you wanna stop.
You will iyh learn alot of ideas and tactics by sticking around, dont get frustrated.

It takes work, but with a determination you will iyh succeed and break free.

Re: Bad fall 21 Mar 2021 19:39 #365824

  • zedj
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Welcome!

You've come to the right place!

When the reality of life hits and you realize that your in quick sand..you know your in trouble.
Fortunately for you, you realized early.
The fact you are here is a big step to get out of the mess 

Ask yourself: why do I want to stop?
why now?
Am I ready to commit?
Am I ready to change to be in a  healthier mind body and soul?
Am I ready to do everything in my power to make sure i will have a future healthy marriage?
(You get the idea)

This is gonna take work but if you take it day by day and learn all the tools that help you...bezh you will be in a place you never knew possible.

Make sure to stick around and keep updating for extra accountability...you have no idea how much chizuk your posts can have on others
Wishing you all the best! 

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: Bad fall 21 Mar 2021 19:56 #365825

  • eyes
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YCT,
You can do it.
We are all rooting for you.
May I suggest you get a good filter on your computer if you have one. I always recommend techloq.
As for your phone. These days everyone "neeeeds" a smartphone. I once had a big argument with my shver if bochurim should have smartphones, he said yes and I said no.
YCT, if you are not in business and just in yeshiva, I would highly recommend you to get a non smartphone. It will mamash save your life. You will feel like a free man.
And about married. Girls are more impressed if you come to date with a flip phone then with the newest iPhone. It looks cool, but the girls know the truth.
Stay on and dont disappear in us.

We are all here for you.

Welcome and enjoy the ride. 

Re: Bad fall 21 Mar 2021 23:31 #365842

I do have a smartphone but it’s well filtered. My biggest struggle is on my computer I found some big holes in the filter and today I went onto social media just to check something clean. But something on the side got my attention and b4 I knew it was watching some really bad stuff . I made a Kabbalah never to go on this social media site without a shomer so I hope it helps for the future

Re: Bad fall 22 Mar 2021 13:20 #365871

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Welcome! Your resolve is admirable. But it is stronger some days and weaker other days. Please strengthen yourself by reading something every day that will give you chizzuk and keep your determination high!

Why don't you check out these great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

Also you can join the GYE Boost on email or whatsapp at www.gyeboost.org
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: Bad fall 29 Mar 2021 21:53 #366128

  • Striving Avreich
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Welcome yct!

I have struggled with this for many years and have only recently gotten my act together by coming here.

As many people have mentioned, an essential part of moving forward and change is the reason behind our change (ie. Why should I change?). When the going gets tough and the Yetzer Harah pulls out his machine gun, we need to be well grounded, know where we are headed and have the desire to do what we need to do.

Another important part of this journey, is having someone to talk about this. Addictions like this are like mold, they thrive in darkness. Both a mentor and a friend/partner can help greatly for this.
For me, the mentors have been a psychologist and a veteran GYE member and I have made some friends on GYE. I think the biggest reason for these two, besides for the fact that secrecy and being hidden are what fuels addiction often, is that, for me, I had not lived as an adult with out pornography or masturbation so how on earth should I be expected to know how to change and life a normal life?

Re: Bad fall 11 Apr 2021 13:13 #366641

  • happyyid
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ytc, Where did you go?
Was looking forward to watching your journey...
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread

Re: Bad fall 20 May 2021 21:50 #368753

Thanks Im in yeshiva so it’s hard to post. BH I haven’t watched porn in many weeks. I’m masturbating a lot. I opened up to a rebbe about my issue he gave me a method he told me worked  for many poeple. So I’m trying that. 

Re: Bad fall 20 May 2021 23:15 #368757

  • happyyid
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Good to hear!
Would you mind sharing that method; it may be beneficial for many of us, especially since your rebbi said that it worked for many people...
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread

Re: Bad fall 21 May 2021 11:55 #368783

  • happyyid
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sleepy wrote on 21 May 2021 05:50:

HappyYid wrote on 20 May 2021 23:15:
Good to hear!
Would you mind sharing that method; it may be beneficial for many of us, especially since your rebbi said that it worked for many people...

on the other hand it may not be a good idea to share yet since alot of times people with good intentions try to deflate ideas which could work, and yct would lose his enthusiasm...

Good point
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread

Re: Bad fall 18 Jun 2021 02:18 #369983

Hi guys. I’m back from yeshiva I’m doing BH much better I went from nasturbating almost every day to now doing it like 2-3 times a week I hope to keep pulling out.
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