Concerned about the issue - yes. Ready to accept someone who has a problem with addiction as perfectly normal - not quite yet.

Kollel Guy wrote on 21 Dec 2009 20:42:
Im with KG here. Yes there are plenty of Rabbonim who are concerned about this issue, but they ready to accept us as regular normal Yidden?? Not so sure. :-\

kanesher wrote on 21 Dec 2009 18:54:


Guts?

I was once driving a big time talmud chacham thru town, (5 years ago) and openned up to him with my nesyonus of p & m to see if he could help me, point me to sources that could help me have chizuk, or give me chizuk himself. He clammed up like I had the plague. Like I had infringed on his kedusha.

There are good people like him that are unprepared. Then there are the small minded people who wont be meshadduch with you cuz of the shoes you wear or the size of your breakfront (I mean this...).

I dont think we can come out of the closet yet. But I'm even paranoid about a face to face SA meeting of frum men. What if someone quits the program, goes off the derech, and wants to blackmail me? Seriously. Am I a nervous puppy, or what?!

I hear you, Reb Steve - on a more practical level, I wonder what would happen if I knock on the door for a shidduch, and when the father/brother/bro-in-law opens the door, we both do a double take because we know each other from a GYE meeting or something. Could definitely be awkward!


As an aside - The size of the breakfront is one thing, but types of shoes? They don't say anything inherently, but if a guy goes to a yeshiva where the standard dress code is to wear plain black shoes, and this guy (for an extreme example) always wears white sneakers with neon colors thrown in, you might want to find out what's up with that. Not because of his frumkeit, but because of his obvious need to stand out and be different.

Reb Steve, as long as you are doing good with DC's phone calls, you should indeed remain anonymous. Rabbi Twerski understands the fears and issues of live groups and therefore he suggested that people start with the phone groups on GYE first. If, chas veshalom, there are repeated falls - you may need the next tool of the GYE handbooks, which is LIVE GROUPS. At that point, recovery needs to override all other concerns. It is pikuach nefesh. And as Elya posted so beautifully (coming in today's e-mail) there's nothing like LIVE groups to break this addiction.

Be well.

Fist of all tischadesh on all the new pictures (B, KG, and Steve).

The real problem is that many Rabbanim have phobias when it comes to these topics, sadly they are labeled “dirty”. Eventually they will wake up although it may have to hit home first. 

For now they have much more pressing issues at hand like……………banning concerts.
;D ;D ;D

Moshew wrote on 22 Dec 2009 17:12:

Hey Moish, the threads called "Blowing your cover" not "Low blows to rabbis"

Kollel Guy wrote on 22 Dec 2009 17:50:
be happy KG that he dug dem rabbis like that. I can think of alot worse, nebach.

imtrying25 wrote on 22 Dec 2009 21:46:
IT that was even worse.
Anyone else like a chance?
We're bashing dem rabbis!! Come one come all!!

Let's be respectful, Chevra.

If so, our job is to help them get better information. In the meantime, though, we still need to follow the gedolei hador as best we can.

And unfortunately, we're very much a part of the culture that is willing to mislead the gedolim for our own selfish ends.

silentbattle wrote on 23 Dec 2009 03:59:
The definition of "Better information" will vary greatly between people with different views.

Right right rage. Someone was telling me recently a rosh in bava kamma, that the halacha is like rav by issurim and like shmuel in money matters, because each one studied the topic much deeper than the other. Nowadays the older gedolim only know what a computer is, by how it was described to them. And u dunno who did that. But anyway this campaign is trying to stop people getting onto the sites with all the loshon hora and rechilus. And matter of fact, the very same newspapers that speak about it, are also full of l"h and deserve to be burnt (not being to extreme, all i mean is at least some of the articles there)!

I hate fanatics and extremists on both sides of the spectrum. I think they should all be taken out and shot.