I've been reading the AA Big Book, and it's really inspiring how these alcoholics really went out of their way to help each other.  They would visit hospitals and speak to doctors in order to find new people they could help.

But, as inspiring as it may seem, is face-to-face help something that is not appropriate for our addiction and our religious (and possibly intolerant) environment?

Can you walk up to your town Rabbi and just say "I am recovering from an addiction to internet p** and mas***.  If you think there is anyone else in the community who needs help, please allow me to speak with him"?

I was wondering if anyone might have any thoughts (or experience) to share in this matter.

The most I have done so far is send an anonymous letter in Hebrew, and I have no idea what difference it has made.

Thats eye.nonymous dude. :D

You don't have to go into every gory detail.  Just say, I heard about this site on the internet that deals with people
who are having addiction problems with the internet.  If you happen to know anyone I'll be happy to tell them about
the site.

If the Rav then asks "Well how do you know about it?"  Say, "figure it out."  :-[
They're not going to ask you, and hopefully if its your personal Rav, they can
and will keep a confidence.  If not, get another one, who will.

Elya

Hmmm...The truth is that this is a muc more difficult addiction to address in a lot of ways - most people are not going to end up in the hospital because of a lust addiction (as opposed to an alcohol addiction). It's much more difficult for outsiders to see the problem.

One difference, though, is that for alcohol, a little drinking is fine - it only becomes a problem when it's an addiction.

With these issues, though, even for those who DON'T have an addiction (or don't know it, or haven't gotten there yet), it's still an area that they should be working on.

I've read in the chizuk emails about the rebbe who's working with his students in this area.

I wonder if there couldn't be some kind of program for helping teenagers, or even people older, deal with this issue, maybe even before it becomes an addiction, or before the addiction gets as far as it can.

The other day I was listening to a torah CD given by a very famous Admor in Israel (it was from a weekly chumish shiur and over a hundred people attend each week). He was talking about simcas hachaim and learning torah.  Out of the blue he said that over the past two weeks he has been dealing with two people one a magid shiur and the other a mechaber of seforim and both have become victim to a Y/H called internet. He then when on to explain how they got hooked. I guess people are starting to approached rabbonim about this issue.

Thanks for all your replies.

hey, not so fast, Eye! What are YOUR thoughts?!

silentbattle wrote on 21 Dec 2009 14:55:


I'm still working on it.  I'll let you know when I come up with anything definite.

I'd be happy to hear any un-definite thoughts, too...but in the meantime, I'll be patient... :-\

I'm a pessimist. I think it will continue to be a topic which will be almost impossible to deal with, if not exactly the way it is now - then at least similar to it. The only real change in perspective I can imagine on the horizon, is maybe in 30 - 40 years from now, when the leading rabbonim themselves will almost all have had some level of exposure to the issues - on a personal level, and will therefore understand the neccessity to make it into a concept which people view as wrong - but still normal.
It would make sense, that when society develops an acceptance for these things, instead of viewing the individual like a degenerate, they'll just see it as any other problem which just needs attention. Like an anger problem that one needs to go to therapy for. It's not geshmak to think that your rebbe knows this about you, but it's not deathly humiliating either. Likewise, I think people will also be much more open to accepting help from others.

Eye.nonymous wrote on 20 Dec 2009 20:51:


As you may know, I recently told a famous Rosh Yeshiva (who I don't have a prior relationship with) that I've had this Nisayon in the past, that I'm trying to help others, and if the Rosh Yeshiva knows anyone who needs help, they can contact me by e-mail.

Kedusha wrote on 21 Dec 2009 18:21:


Yeah Kedusha, but that's because you have the **** that the rest of us don't.

Kollel Guy wrote on 21 Dec 2009 18:16:

Do you think its going to take that long, I believe 3-4 years is more in order. 

Moshew wrote on 21 Dec 2009 18:59:
You need people who were raised somewhat in the computer age to be in their 60s. They will be the rabbonim then.

Moshew wrote on 21 Dec 2009 18:59:


I think it's already happening.

I live in THE MOST INSULAR COMMUNITY IN THE WORLD (now you know where I live), and I have personaly heard the Rav of the community (Thousands of frum families) already mention this issue publicly.  Like, once was at somebody's hesped!  I would take that to mean that he is really concerned about this issue.