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Starting Again...
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: Starting Again... 4183 Views

Re: Starting Again... 03 May 2021 20:35 #367895

  • Lou
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Thank you to all for the outpouring of support (wrath from some?). It means alot to me. I just want to clarify that I posted very briefly because it was in middle of the night and I just wanted to post for accountability immediately.
Thank you Sapy and No strings for your thoughts. Although what you both say could be depressing,I will choose to look at it as reaching a new level in the battle and that is a good thing.
Thank you
Lou

Re: Starting Again... 03 May 2021 20:39 #367896

  • Lou
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A special note of thanks to IMG for just being IMG!
Don't change and keep strong my friend!

Re: Starting Again... 03 May 2021 21:14 #367900

Hey Lou. Think about why you fell this time. Something you saw? An emotion you experienced? What can you do, as in what physical action can you take, to prevent it from happening again?

Examples:

1) I saw something triggering on social media, and I ended up all the way on bad sites.
Action: stop using social media, or stop using social media alone, or install a filter that blocks images on social media. Seriously, get a filter.

2) I was feeling stressed out, and wanted to escape for a bit.
Action: think of something you can do next time to de-stress in a healthier way, like going for a walk, phoning a friend, or eating a Snickers. Meditation.

Doing the things you've always done will get you the same results you've always gotten. Focus on strategy, not willpower.

Re: Starting Again... 04 May 2021 13:17 #367943

  • Captain
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It could be that you are not ready to make all these plans, if you are in middle of a rough patch. Maybe you could try to make a very short goal, like 5 or 7 days, and then when you've created a bit of distance you can try to figure out what to improve and make a new plan.
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

Re: Starting Again... 06 May 2021 04:21 #368040

  • Lou
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It seems like recently whenever i post that things are BH going well, I have a fall soon afterwards.
So,just sayin Hi.....

Re: Starting Again... 06 May 2021 08:13 #368045

  • Striving Avreich
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I have had the same thing previously in my life. I couldn't take a compliment and would sometimes masturbate afterwards. I would ask my parents to not compliment me as much.

Re: Starting Again... 06 May 2021 12:40 #368051

  • Shteeble
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Lou wrote on 06 May 2021 04:21:
It seems like recently whenever i post that things are BH going well, I have a fall soon afterwards.
So,just sayin Hi.....

Here's a great thread for saying "Hi!". It's got 157 pages worth of His so far...
Just wanted to say HI!!!
Oh, and Hi!
Last Edit: 06 May 2021 12:40 by Shteeble.

Re: Starting Again... 06 May 2021 22:30 #368092

  • Lou
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Striving Avreich wrote on 06 May 2021 08:13:
I have had the same thing previously in my life. I couldn't take a compliment and would sometimes masturbate afterwards. I would ask my parents to not compliment me as much.

Thank you for your comment,however I don't think it has anything at all to do with that. I think it is just a complacency that all is good and then Wham!

Re: Starting Again... 07 May 2021 08:27 #368127

  • Striving Avreich
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Lou wrote on 06 May 2021 22:30:

Striving Avreich wrote on 06 May 2021 08:13:
I have had the same thing previously in my life. I couldn't take a compliment and would sometimes masturbate afterwards. I would ask my parents to not compliment me as much.

Thank you for your comment,however I don't think it has anything at all to do with that. I think it is just a complacency that all is good and then Wham!

Then is there a connection between saying everything is good and acting out?

Re: Starting Again... 09 May 2021 06:54 #368214

  • Lou
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Striving Avreich wrote on 07 May 2021 08:27:

Lou wrote on 06 May 2021 22:30:

Striving Avreich wrote on 06 May 2021 08:13:
I have had the same thing previously in my life. I couldn't take a compliment and would sometimes masturbate afterwards. I would ask my parents to not compliment me as much.

Thank you for your comment,however I don't think it has anything at all to do with that. I think it is just a complacency that all is good and then Wham!

Then is there a connection between saying everything is good and acting out?

No, sorry I guess it wasn't such a well thought out and meaningful post. I don't really see a connection that you were referring to.I meant more in jest. Just disregard the whole thing.
Thanks

Re: Starting Again... 09 May 2021 15:49 #368222

  • Lou
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Short term goal is to make it to  Kabalas haTorah bitahara beH.

​In general,working on various personal strategies,but I am finding that currently I am having more success beH ,when I post less details and a bit less involved in the public forums.This could change at any point,but for now that is my feeling.
Hatzlocha to all!
Biahava,
             Lou

Re: Starting Again... 10 May 2021 21:37 #368303

Every day is Day 1. Short term goal is today!

Re: Starting Again... 11 May 2021 02:48 #368326

  • Lou
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Just as a disclaimer, I myself don't usually go for these kinda stories but this is what happened to me today.
I was feeling very down today in the morning (I wonder why?). I asked Hashem to please give me a sign or send me an idea to show me that I am still in the game,if you know what I mean. I was in a Seforim store that sells used seforim at a discount price,and right in front of me was a copy of the Hebrew Sefer Zos Brisi in great shape and for a very cheap price. It mamesh felt like a hug from Hashem saying I am with you!
Before people start commenting...yes I know a sefer is not the solution.
Thank you

Re: Starting Again... 13 May 2021 21:06 #368545

  • Lou
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I was mekabel bln over in the challenge accepted thread to do one thing daily to improve in this area. In other words to be alive!

Day 1: Not to use computer (when connected to internet) for any reason after 1:30 AM

Re: Starting Again... 14 May 2021 17:37 #368598

  • Lou
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Day 2
To communicate with a minimum of  one person at every Tefillah.
Last Edit: 14 May 2021 17:45 by Lou.
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