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Back again for another try
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: Back again for another try 2277 Views

Re: Back again for another try 12 May 2021 02:06 #368402

  • DavidT
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fr33et wrote on 12 May 2021 01:35:


When I was in shul davening or learning I didn't want the filth, I wanted to run as far away as possible but when I start living mundane life the desire comes back. BH at this moment I want to be holy, I don't want to give in, but I'm afraid of what I'll want tomorrow!

Forget about tomorrow,  forget about the past. Now you're doing great and only that counts. If you'll have this attitude tomorrow as well, you won't need to worry about the day after tomorrow...
keep strong  
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: Back again for another try 23 May 2021 19:31 #368877

  • fr33et
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I slipped last night---I watched iffy content for a while and I visited the porn site that I can't access to look at the previews, but I didn't watch anything and I shut it quickly. Where I'm at now this seems like a victory so I won't count it as a fall. But I want to be clean even of this. This one site is a big taiva for me as you can tell and also I am struggling with loneliness and poor time management. I'm having a hard time focusing at work, for example. Also I'm having worries about trivial details in life. They keep me up at night and I'm struggling to let go of them. Plus there are some bigger worries, but for some reason I am having an easier time managing those emotionally. I wonder why that is.
Last Edit: 23 May 2021 19:51 by fr33et.

Re: Back again for another try 23 May 2021 19:45 #368878

  • DavidT
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fr33et wrote on 23 May 2021 19:31:
I slipped last night---I watched iffy content for a while and I visited the porn site that I can't access to look at the previews, but I didn't watch anything and I shut it quickly. Where I'm at now this seems like a victory so I won't count it as a fall. But I want to be clean even of this. This one site is a big taiva for me as you can tell and also I am struggling with loneliness and poor time management. I'm having a hard time focusing at work, for example. Also I'm having worries about trivial details in life. They keep me up at night and I'm struggling to let go of them. Plus there are some bigger worries, but for some reason I am having an easier time managing those emotionally. I wonder why that is?

I once heard that when a person has big worries, he knows that he has to rely on Hashem, but the small worries, he thinks he can control by himself... So the small ones cause more stress. Give them ALL over to Hashem...
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: Back again for another try 28 May 2021 00:17 #369123

  • fr33et
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I'm still clean from porn and masturbation, but I have been struggling with time wasting.

Re: Back again for another try 28 May 2021 11:22 #369132

  • Hashem Help Me
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Let's celebrate the accomplishment. Feeling good about yourself will iyh bring to other positive developments and upgrades in your daily life.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Back again for another try 30 May 2021 02:28 #369173

  • fr33et
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Tonight I was about to waste some time on the internet. I told myself, "ok, but first write this down in my journal." Then when I went on the time-wasting website, I spent about ten minutes, noticed it was unsatisfying, and stopped. Then I wrote that down. Sometime I used to waste hours there. Thank you HaShem! This really brings home that I don't need it.

Re: Back again for another try 03 Jun 2021 01:30 #369374

  • fr33et
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These past few days I've been wasting time. Last night I wasted some time before going to bed. I didn't repeat the Sh'ma and I was late for shul this morning. But after davening I got my act together and I had a more productive day at work than I've had in a very long time. Now it is time for me to get ready for bed and repeat the Sh'ma. Why waste even a little time?

Re: Back again for another try 04 Jun 2021 01:34 #369438

  • fr33et
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I had another productive day today, thank G-d, much like yesterday. This morning I was on time for shul though. I was focused at work and at home I spent my time on learning and chores. Like last night I need to get ready for bed now and repeat the Sh'ma without getting distracted. That way I can arrive at shul on time tomorrow.

Re: Back again for another try 10 Jun 2021 23:01 #369742

  • fr33et
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These past few days I've had some ups and downs in terms of time wsating but overall I can see an improvement. I've been careful with my evening time to make sure I can say shma and have a good nights sleep. I did waste about 15 minutes on YouTube one night. I think this week is the most often I've made it to shacharit in one week (every day so far). Yesterday I was a little slow and distractible at work but for the most part I've been quite focused and I had a chance to get "in the zone." Plus I've added to my learning schedule. And of course I've stayed away from porn and masturbation. I'd like to find some more time for exercise, hobbies and taking care of my apartment. One thing at a time though! I'm very pleased with my progress.

Re: Back again for another try 18 Jun 2021 00:12 #369978

  • fr33et
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In the week since my last post, I've been staying consistent with davening and learning and keeping away from porn and masturbation. I have been struggling with time wasting at work and in the evenings when I get home from learning. I hope that I will be able to guard my eyes from intellectual junk food too, not just sexual junk food. If there is something I really want to read, then I can set some time aside to focus on it instead of stealing minutes from something more important like my employer or exercise. Or better yet find a friend to talk it over. I'm hoping that if I can redirect my time and attention to better things I can improve my fitness, apartment, and/or hobbies.

Re: Back again for another try 18 Jun 2021 10:53 #369997

  • בינוני
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Hey Fr33et
I just read through your thread. I find that I can relate to it very much. Not only do I struggle with porn and masturbation, but I also struggle with procrastinating on the internet. In fact I've wasted so much time on the internet (even with "kosher" stuff) that it's basically ruined my life. 

Please feel free to pm me- I'd love to talk to you some more and hopefully devise some ways to overcome our struggles together
My thread: Let's get this party started

Who the heck is Benoni?

Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow. -Gerald Vaughan

Re: Back again for another try 24 Jun 2021 01:47 #370137

  • fr33et
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Half way to 90 days. I'm still struggling with time-wasting, but each day is getting a little better this week.

Re: Back again for another try 02 Jul 2021 00:41 #370422

  • fr33et
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I've had a lot of ups and downs with time wasting this week. Somedays I spent very little time on the internet and some days it was a big distraction at work and at home. I've been able to keep away from inappropriate content, BH.

Re: Back again for another try 04 Jul 2021 04:27 #370448

  • Meyer M.
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Keep up the good work! 
Your best teacher for success is your last mistake

Re: Back again for another try 05 Jul 2021 22:55 #370521

  • fr33et
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I had a little time off from work and Baruch HaShem I've been doing very well. I haven't spent terribly much time on the internet and I got caught up on some maintenance work and projects I've been putting off.
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