hashemyeracheim613 wrote on 29 Oct 2024 02:04:
Hi everyone. There are a couple of points I would like to hit up.
1. Someone suggested that my problem might be depression. I've been to many therapists in my life, and while I've experienced feelings of depression, it was usually chalked up to my inability to deal with my other mental issues. Once I worked on those, the sadness dissipated. That being said, my cynical tendencies are not helping my situation.
2. I had a streak of ninety days recently. I think the idea that helped me the most of anything is a YouTube short. In it, a lady was talking to a drug addict about how to deal with his addiction. She told him that he has to accept to deal with any pain that would result of him being sober, no matter how horrifying. This helped me a lot. When I was extremely stressed and "needed" to let loose, I was able to tell myself that I already knew this was coming, and had accepted it already. This helped me embrace the pain of not giving in. I only messed up once I decided that I didn't want to deal with the pain.
3. I messed up recently. I had a streak from Erev Rosh Hashana until yesterday. I want to try the above-mentioned method again. Wish me luck.
4. Welcome to all new members. I've skimmed a lot of posts, and for many people, it seems that the root cause is not masturbation. I feel comfortable saying that most people on this forum can use a good therapist. If you haven't tried it yet, please do. For those that have tried and it's not working, stay with it. I went to many therapists before I even tasted mild success. It was so worth it once I found the right one.
I found that mindfulness and IFS (Internal Family Systems therapy model (there is a book on how to to do it on your own without a therapist)) can be very helpful without even going to therapy.
Porn and masturbation is actually just a survival tool for the psyche to try to protect itself from painful, yes, sometimes very painful, awareness and emotions.
When we can live with and/or manage the things that the p and m are covering up and trying so hard to smother, then we can instead embrace those powerful negativity aspects in us and find the beauty and real humanity within them.
Sounds utopian? It is, but it works!
