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TOPIC: Just fell 457 Views

Just fell 04 Sep 2020 22:39 #354622

  • bjo
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I made a personal goal that I would, at the very least, go the entire month of Elul clean. Unfortunately I fell short of that and fell today. I encountered a lot of triggers today and I did not respond in a healthy way. It is easy enough to put a filter on your computer to prevent yourself from viewing inappropriate material; it is much more difficult, though it is of course possible, to filter your thoughts. I have been trying to break free for a couple of months now. I felt proud that I had some fairly long streaks, at least longer than the ones I was used to before joining GYE. Didn't usually last more than a week before joining. I also had some pretty quick falls, where it would only be a couple of days before I acted out again. So it is getting very clear to me that the road to breaking free is not a straight one (though part of me was hoping that it would be that easy). I am confident that I can overcome this habit, but I just have to accept the fact that it could take a long time.  

Re: Just fell 06 Sep 2020 00:50 #354628

  • Meyer M.
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bjo wrote on 04 Sep 2020 22:39:
I made a personal goal that I would, at the very least, go the entire month of Elul clean. Unfortunately I fell short of that and fell today. I encountered a lot of triggers today and I did not respond in a healthy way. It is easy enough to put a filter on your computer to prevent yourself from viewing inappropriate material; it is much more difficult, though it is of course possible, to filter your thoughts. I have been trying to break free for a couple of months now. I felt proud that I had some fairly long streaks, at least longer than the ones I was used to before joining GYE. Didn't usually last more than a week before joining. I also had some pretty quick falls, where it would only be a couple of days before I acted out again. So it is getting very clear to me that the road to breaking free is not a straight one (though part of me was hoping that it would be that easy). I am confident that I can overcome this habit, but I just have to accept the fact that it could take a long time.  

Your attitude is inspiring, keep it up!
Your best teacher for success is your last mistake

Re: Just fell 06 Sep 2020 02:16 #354639

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Why not check out these great free resources to help you take the next step? 

My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: Just fell 06 Sep 2020 19:42 #354665

bjo wrote on 04 Sep 2020 22:39:
I made a personal goal that I would, at the very least, go the entire month of Elul clean. 

Who didn't? I did to. And I lasted until literally day 1 of Elul. Sometimes its the brush yourself off and get yourself clean that Hashem wants. Think about it. This way you can go into Elul with 29 days clean (albeit not in a streak) and with a day where you got right back up on your feet after being knocked down. I'd wouldn't mind going into Rosh Hashona with that. 

You got this. 

יהי רצון שהדברים לתועלת

Today I will do what others won't, so tomorrow I can do what others can't.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.
We all make choices in life, but in the end, our choices make us.

Re: Just fell 06 Sep 2020 20:06 #354666

  • wilnevergiveup
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Im Tevakshena Kakasef wrote on 06 Sep 2020 19:42:

bjo wrote on 04 Sep 2020 22:39:
I made a personal goal that I would, at the very least, go the entire month of Elul clean. 

Who didn't? I did to. And I lasted until literally day 1 of Elul. Sometimes its the brush yourself off and get yourself clean that Hashem wants. Think about it. This way you can go into Elul with 29 days clean (albeit not in a streak) and with a day where you got right back up on your feet after being knocked down. I'd wouldn't mind going into Rosh Hashona with that. 

You got this. 

I'm no expert in the going on's in heaven but based purely on the challenge, 29 days with one day that you got right back up after a fall might be worth a lot more than a 30 day streak.

Now don't go and fall for this (sorry for the pun) but in hindsight, don't fret, if you get back up, you are standing in a place where tzadikim gemurim don't stand.

Now that's something to take before the heavenly court if you ask me.

All the best,
Wilnevergiveup
Check out My Thread and The Truth

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: Just fell 06 Sep 2020 22:01 #354669

  • yeshivaguy
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Hey, just a thought.
I fell today as well, after 27 days...
Though the concept of “bringing streaks to HaShem” is a good motivator, I don’t believe it’s how things work.
On Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur we bring OURSELVES in front of HaShem.
Not streaks etc.
We approach HaShem with our chesronos, maalos, mitzvos, and aveiros as one singular Person.
So as much as it’s hard to “break a streak,” just remember that HaShem isn’t impressed by numbers, but rather by You. Your Mesiras Nefesh and you struggle to be close to Him.

Hatzlocha

Re: Just fell 07 Sep 2020 05:20 #354687

  • wilnevergiveup
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YeshivaGuy wrote on 06 Sep 2020 22:01:
Hey, just a thought.
I fell today as well, after 27 days...
Though the concept of “bringing streaks to HaShem” is a good motivator, I don’t believe it’s how things work.
On Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur we bring OURSELVES in front of HaShem.
Not streaks etc.
We approach HaShem with our chesronos, maalos, mitzvos, and aveiros as one singular Person.
So as much as it’s hard to “break a streak,” just remember that HaShem isn’t impressed by numbers, but rather by You. Your Mesiras Nefesh and you struggle to be close to Him.

Hatzlocha

I must humbly disagree with you on this.

On Rosh Hashanah we bring before Hashem change, Nothing more nothing less. Hashem wants to see that we are taking the steps to change ourselves and if a good streak doesn't indicate change then please tell me what does.

Teshuvah means to change, lit. to return i.e. to return to the path that leads to shleimus, to becoming close to Hashem. Rabbenu Yonah (שערי תשובה, שער א, אות יא) writes that taking the steps to change our ways is the first and most important step of teshuva, for someone who is naaseh lo k'heter.

Change, change, change, that's what Hashem want's. Not for us to be perfect, just for us to change.

We can put filters, make shvuos and kabalos, promise to turn over the world but, אין הדבר תלה אלא בי, Hashem doesn't need any of that all he wants to see is that you are a different person then before.

Disclaimer, this is not to say that if you don't have a streak you have not changed, rather that if you do have a good streak then it does indicate change.
Check out My Thread and The Truth

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: Just fell 07 Sep 2020 10:44 #354691

  • yeshivaguy
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Agreed.
I was just saying that there’s more to change besides “output.”
Obviously your right that we need concrete change, but I’m saying that there’s more to a person than technical output.
One who keeps trying harder and harder but keeps falling and hasn’t gotten long streaks DID CHANGE. Internally.
All I’m saying is that it’s not ALL measured by output.

Re: Just fell 07 Sep 2020 10:50 #354692

  • yeshivaguy
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Not sure I agree with what I said that “HaShem isn’t impressed by streaks”
What I’m trying to say is that the ikur is You. How you internally changed. 
But ur right that output does show internal change.
Im just saying that Output is a “Siman” to ones internal change. 
Though ur right, it’s a big sugya, my Rebbi here in Yeshiva gave a whole shmuze Friday night on these inyanim, it’s prob not fair for me to just quote bits and pieces...

Re: Just fell 07 Sep 2020 11:13 #354693

  • wilnevergiveup
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@YeshivaGuy, I think we are on the same page here.
Check out My Thread and The Truth

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: Just fell 07 Sep 2020 12:32 #354696

  • yeshivaguy
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Maskim
Last Edit: 07 Sep 2020 12:32 by yeshivaguy.

Re: Just fell 07 Sep 2020 13:21 #354700

  • bjo
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Thank you! Downloaded The Battle of the Generation. Will take a look at Rabbi Shafier's lectures.
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