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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: just enjoying 319 Views

just enjoying 17 Jul 2020 16:44 #352707

  • easy
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i recently have made some real progress on porn and masturbation.
i have found that now i really struggle with looking at women in the street for pleasure. now i dont imagine as much what i want to do but just to enjoy. for a little this caught me off guard as this has never been a struggle for me. i realize that the yetser hara is just trying to get me in a different way now. i was wondering if some people could comment on this struggle and their successes. 
the yetser hara was winning this without me even realizing it until i read some of the daily gye boosts that talked about a guy in this situation. just putting out there that these have helped me thank you.

Re: just enjoying 19 Jul 2020 20:01 #352754

  • 90days4ever
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Hi,

wow! I posted just last week on the break free board under the topic radical change v slow growth the exact same observation I'm struggling to with the same problem. The only advice I have received is if you don't work on stopping also this area of lusting than you won't really be successful regarding p and m. (Im Not fully convinced) Your welcome to pm me or email me at 90days4ever@gmail.com and we can try and work out a solution together.

Re: just enjoying 20 Jul 2020 01:07 #352760

  • colincolin
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If you see a woman in the street, regard it as a opportunity to increase Kedusha.

You will look at them for 2 - 3 seconds because you need to know where they are walking so as not to bump into them.

But then look away and regard it as a great opportunity and thank Hashem.

Re: just enjoying 20 Jul 2020 02:15 #352763

  • grant400
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For me this is one of the hardest things. Its EVERYWHERE! I only recently put my foot down (I almost didn't even realize I was doing it) regarding this particular issue. I remember like a month ago when I decided I needed to change in was sitting in my car thinking to myself how it just isn't possible at all and it's too hard! It did get a little easier after a week or two because I wasn't only fighting temptation but also a really strong habit, for years I trained myself that when I see a woman immediately my mind dissects the body and grades each part  But once I broke the habit it wasn't as impossible. Don't get me wrong it's still excruciating! I still fail many times a day, I repeat many, but the times that I succeed I feel awesome. Also I don't have to deal with the side effects of indulging in eye candy...for example....when it would cause fantasizing which could eventually lead to acting out chsv"sh.

@90daysforever. The problem with stopping p & m but still ogling women isn't that it's not physically possible but rather that instead of curing yourself from the root of the problem  i.e. lust and addiction you are just treating the symptoms. 
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