Not sure if I should make another topic for this, I guess we'll see where it goes... I'm curious about, to those who seem to know this well are SAA participants, what it really means "to surrender"?

So far, and again I'm no bukee so this may be waaaaaay off, of what I have understood is that it the belief and understanding that it is Hashem who creates and controls everything, my thoughts/feelings/urges included. Since he is the driver, it is on,y He who can really bring me to a state in which I feel more comfortable (whether it be urges, stress, anxiety, etc.) and for me to push it off, or even to fight it head on will inevitably lead to a failed attempt at keeping my cool... Because in the end of the day who's gonna win... Me or my thoughts (which are brought on by Hashem). I therefore must accept the fact that, especially in a moment that I'm am struggling with any life experience, that it is Hashem who brought me here, and it is Hashem who can bring me out. Essentially in doing this, I am giving over the struggle to Hashem and putting it out of my hands and into his, because to do otherwise is truly nonsense. 

The he result of these beleifs and thought processes eventually lead me to a place where I have no control, and whatever thoughts and feelings come in, come and go, and at that point, as there passing by, I shouldn't judge them as good or bad. 

This is will bring me to being calm and more present. 
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Again, I'm not sure if any of this really holds true, this is just really a compilation of my thoughts of what I have picked up from others who have went to SAA on GYE over the years... But I could be totally off. 

If if there's anyone who can correct the flaws, or reset them all together, I would really appreciate that. To also hear of some exercises to do so when I'm in "that moment of struggle" I can use that tool to help me get by.


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this is my 3rd time trying to post this so I apologize to anyone that saw it before. Just doing my best to find the emes.