Iv been at this for 22 days now, the first two weeks were bearable but lately the last few days have been extremely difficult (I will admit while i didn't look for any specific images, I came across some immodestly dressed women) with my thoughts running back to their original ways, I have been able to hold out till now but I'm afraid I wont have the strength for much longer, the fact that I cant go to my daily mikvah (corona) doesn't help matters, anyone know any way to keep myself going till at least 90?

Meyer M. wrote on 03 May 2020 15:08:

Hi, If I may point out to you, it's very normal after some good clean days, to feel weak. Most people go thru this stage. The ones that realize what's behind this, stay strong an the others fall back and then start the same cycle again.The reason is that the initial emotional excitement wares off ... now its an intellectual struggle.The good thing is that when you get over this bump, and you stay strong not because of feelings but because you know what's important and you want in life, things really start falling into place - big time!For now, please know that there is nothing wrong with you, you're normal and you're actually doing great. Many people disappear for the system at this point and the fact the you reached out for help shows that you're serious about this and you'll get over the bump with Hashem's help.

When I find my mind out of control with lustful thoughts and images, I say the following tefillah:

Ribbono Shel Olam, I am powerless over lust and my life has become unmanageable.
Only You can restore me to sanity.
I turn my life and my lust over to Your care.
I ask You to please heal me from this illness of lust.
I don't want to lust.
I only want You and a relationship with You and your Torah.
I surrender my lust to You.  Please take my lust.

I say it as many times at it takes to work.  If the thoughts or images come back, I say it again.  And I mean it.

Welcome!

Welcome to the forum! 

My opinion doesn't matter much after the heavy hitters so I will just wish you hatzlacha on your journey.

Keep posting about your journey, share your struggles with us. We are all rooting for you. 

Don't get caught up in the big numbers, 90 is a big number, perhaps start with a smaller goal like 25 days, then build on that? 

Let me know what you think.

wilnevergiveup wrote on 03 May 2020 20:33:

sounds great will do

wilnevergiveup wrote on 03 May 2020 20:33:

Is 90 big compared to 6 328 990 298 347 388 229 751 889 000?

is 90 big compared to infinity in olam habah? the split second of pleasure is what it feels like every single moment up there

Singularity wrote on 04 May 2020 03:09:

Is that one number? Or multiple choice? 

To answer the question at hand, yes I think 90 is a big number when comparing it to 23, 14, and 8.

What is that number anyway?

wilnevergiveup wrote on 04 May 2020 04:35:

It's a hexadecimal. 
Sorry I'm all out of ideas

24 days and counting, today was an easier day b'h hopefully I can keep this up, i feel very close to really eradicating most of these thoughts

Please God you do, but for most of us, it's learning to live in spite of them.