Hi all

I was wondering if anyone else has issues with eating too much, emotional eating etc. I am aware there is a whole fellowship for this but my wife's uneasy about going to actual meetings, sharing and interacting with (mostly) women there if I don't really need to, it's not making my life unmanageable I believe, however it does kickstart a progression to lust. I eat too much then feel bad etc we all know this.

So maybe let's have this topic for specifically this issue, hints, tips, help and experience, strength, hope. I'd love to hear from you.

For me, a bad bout was on Shabbos where I opened the fridge and a glass jug came crashing onto the floor and I was so angry I proceeded to eat a whole slab of chocolate (I didn't even taste it) and five biscuits in one bite, sorta. I did act out lustly the day before and the two kinda play on each other. No serenity in active addiction that's for sure!

I don't really have any tips myself on how to curb eating, but when I'm working I don't feel hungry, but when I'm with the wife and kids I suddenly get very hungry and the whole day feels like a pain.
Then I feel bad because I wish I loved my family as much as I did my work.
Oh man, there are a lot more issues it seems!!!!

Hey,
Thanks for the post.  Words well spoken.  I've been struggling with overeating/emotional eating, etc. for years and I've finally had enough - I finally went to an OA (zoom) meeting the other night.  
Two things prompted me to do this, I wonder if you relate:
1.  I've gotta stop the BS - I can't handle this anymore.  I'm always telling myself after every binge that this diet will help, this will do it, that will be the solution, it's only because of xyz... Somehow, I'm not a compulsive overeater - I just constantly have an exception... I'm not stupid, I'm just crazy.  Enough already.
2.  I also hesitated b/c of the idea of the gender issue.  I went to the meeting because I need to save my life.  It's easier to not lust under such circumstances. Also, you say your life isn't unmanageable from the overeating, it just causes you to lust - is your lust unmanageable?  If yes, the overeating in essence is making your life unmanageable.  If not, so what's bothering you?  Go and enjoy it!

strive613 wrote on 28 Apr 2020 17:14:

Damnit you're right, totally right.
I feel like I can't treat the overeating if I'm not working on my lust program 100% but I guess that's also bs. an OA zoom meeting sounds good. I'll look into it.
Like I said the overeating it's not a 100% correlation that I'm going to act out lustwise. But I've gotta separate out the bs. Thanks for your share.

I don't think I have an over eating problem (I just drink too much soda) but I do sometimes eat when I'm stressed or engage in other activities that are less than healthy ways of coping. It seems to me that people like us didn't learn healthy ways of coping with our emotions. I would suggest learning more about healthy ways to deal with your anxiety and stress and work on that. I feel like if you can fix that your other issues will start to resolve themselves. 

sleepy wrote on 30 Apr 2020 01:45:

Maybe I need to sleep all day, then I won't be tempted by food!

ya, i have been experiencing the same thing. the 2 kind of go hand in hand.  If i am misgaber on the shmiras einayim, the urge to eat tons of food becomes much stronger, and vise versa. i am also looking for an eitza. it seems i can't beat both at the same time, but when i focus on one, the other becomes so strong it will also undrmine my efforts on the one i am working on. 
Its a weird thing, because eating kosher food is 100 muter, but the yetzer hara still is controlling me through it. how true the words of the gemara brachos (32a) "malei craisa zuni bishi" ("a full stomache leads to lots of evil") 

I'm having the same issue that Cab is describing and would love any advice.
I have been dieting on and off for 25 years and have always been able to keep my weight in check, but since I stopped P & M about 8 months ago, I haven't been able to diet and now I weigh more than I ever have . 
I also stopped vaping 2 months ago. These 2 things combined with the pandemic (always being home) have made it impossible for me to diet! 
I've read around here that our lust addiction is a way of "escaping". And that would mean that would apply to ANY addiction I imagine - including overeating. 
This makes sense to me because when I stopped vaping I realized that I have more "quiet" time - more time to think. 
And now I see how I can busy almost the entire day with food! 
It would seem my unconscious mind is just trying to keep me busy with anything it can. 
I think mindfulness meditation is a good start for me and I'm working on that, but it's really hard! 

May G-d help us all! 

Hi there,
Although one may read your thread and assume that writing about overeating on a guard your eyes site may be out of place, I however see a connection. The more one is in control of themselves in a non-obligatory fashion(although overeating to an extent may be a prohibition, it is still of way less stringent caliber than shmrias eyenaim or habris), the more they will be in control when it comes to guarding ones eyes or other challenges. I find this with myself always. Instead of being lazy and receiving the dopamine in the brain via say masturbation, instead work out or exercise and you will receive it in a real and rewarding way. So although I may not be answering your question, I just felt I could weigh my opinion on the relating matter.

onthewayup wrote on 01 May 2020 04:07:

Thanks for sharing your first post on the forum with me!

I believe my opinion will always WEIGH more, unless I do something about it! :D
I know it's understandable due to this stay at home thing that eating will be inevitable, but it's also eye-opening to what extent I am truly lost.
Yesterday I was ok until my daughter came in and gave me a biscuit she baked. that little biscuit threw me off completely. The rest of the way was two bowls of sugary cereal, slices of bread and margarine, nutella sandwiches, popcorn and smarties, all the while snacking on fruit dainties and drinking iced coffees. And I had no defense! Just like against the first lust hit. And any and all diets before have crashed and burned.

My DSR partner suggested greysheet.org, sorta like OA but stricter. I haven't looked at it yet.

Does anyone want to invest in a diet plan with me where we both put in let's say $50 and it's an incentive to keep it up?

sleepy wrote on 12 Jun 2020 02:41:

I don't know, I've got a problem with losing weight because I am lazy and I like to eat...

If you really are worried about that, you probably need to see someone...

You really got a thing or two to learn about women.

I love you @sleepy, you are just funny sometimes...

I don't know if I'm remembering correctly, but this binge overeating in place of acting out in inyanei kedusha (which I do A LOT! I had 5 pies of pizza over the past week, despite being on a gluten & dairy free diet, due to food sensitivities & have been going in cycles of gaining & then losing the weight for many years...) brings me to recall something I once heard, that by the Chasidus of Ger who have a very strong focus on keeping clean in inyanei kedusha, there's an idea of turning to eating in place of acting out...

Swift Eagle wrote on 12 Jun 2020 11:24:

My pattern is I eat a ton and THEN act out :D

Hi Singularity,

Have you ever done therapy? I know a friend who had an overeating problem. With therapy he managed to greatly improve the situation. Overeating is as you said, as much as a coping mechanism as acting out. Unfortunately it's a bad way to cope with emotions. But CBT could help you do that in a healthy way.
Some nutrition professionals are also specialized in eating disorders.
I don't know if overeating/emotional eating is an eating disorder, but I'm sure there is a strong connection.