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TOPIC: coming clean 1873 Views

coming clean 07 Jun 2019 16:45 #341686

  • Iwtbf613
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Hi everyone, I wanted to come clean that I just had a fall. The last time I had a fall before that was erev shvi shel Pesach and before then I had a clean streak of 140 days. It's very humbling to start again from zero and it is somewhat painful that it was right before Shavuos. However, I don't have as much guilt in regards to Hashem as much as I have guilt about my wife. She doesn't deserve a husband who sneaks around on the internet and tries to cover up his tracks. But I know that guilt isn't really good for this particular struggle, bitterness with a resolution to change? For sure, but guilt leads me back to the path of relapse every time. Unfortunately and fortunately I know what to do from now: strengthen my connection to the people and resources on this website, keep myself accountable, don't stay isolated, don't get depressed, stay b'simcha, just keep on going, daven to Hashem that IYH this will be it FOR GOOD.

Re: coming clean 07 Jun 2019 17:21 #341687

  • cordnoy
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Iwtbf613 wrote on 07 Jun 2019 16:45:
Hi everyone, I wanted to come clean that I just had a fall. The last time I had a fall before that was erev shvi shel Pesach and before then I had a clean streak of 140 days. It's very humbling to start again from zero and it is somewhat painful that it was right before Shavuos. However, I don't have as much guilt in regards to Hashem as much as I have guilt about my wife. She doesn't deserve a husband who sneaks around on the internet and tries to cover up his tracks. But I know that guilt isn't really good for this particular struggle, bitterness with a resolution to change? For sure, but guilt leads me back to the path of relapse every time. Unfortunately and fortunately I know what to do from now: strengthen my connection to the people and resources on this website, keep myself accountable, don't stay isolated, don't get depressed, stay b'simcha, just keep on going, daven to Hashem that IYH this will be it FOR GOOD.

Sounds like a decent plan. Godspeed to you. Your humility is refreshin'. We look forward to hearin' positive developments from you.
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Re: coming clean 07 Jun 2019 21:47 #341688

  • Hashem Help Me
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Very well expressed. Honest forthcoming and courageous fellows break free b'ezras Hashem. Hatzlocha.
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