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Need Help Maintaining The Right Mindset.
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: Need Help Maintaining The Right Mindset. 193 Views

Need Help Maintaining The Right Mindset. 05 Mar 2019 16:34 #339405

I’m a 28-year-old married man and I admit I have a Sex/Lust addiction. I’ve been battling this addiction for quite some time now and went to get help by attending SA. My longest clean streak was 29 days and fell. I’m currently 11 days clean trying to avoid lust and triggers wherever they may be. On my way to work today I was walking down the street and half a block in front of me I saw a woman who was wearing dark stockings and a skirt which was too short for this weather or for any weather a matter of fact. As soon as I saw her, I crossed the street so I wouldn’t take another look. While I was crossing the street, I just hatted the fact that because I am an addict, I had to cross the street and I was not able to be like a normal person who would just forget about her as soon as she walks by. This type of mindset of hating myself for not being “normal” led me to my last fall. On one hand I understand that I have to stay away from certain scenes and situations because it might take over me but on the other hand, I still want to enjoy the simple things and not have to hide myself like an overly sensitive fool.


I know I need to maintain the right mindset. This reminds me of what we read in SA “What is a Sexaholic and What is Sexual Sobriety” I edited it to speak to myself “I admit to sexual obsession or compulsion but i simply want to control and enjoy it, much as the alcoholic would like to control and enjoy drinking But I know any form of drinking will drive me to the point of despair, until we really wanted to stop but could not I did not FULLY give myself to this program of recovery. Sexaholics Anonymous is for ME who know I have no other option but to stop, and their own enlightened self-interest must tell them this……My issue is…I am still doubting the last sentence because I feel like I can control it and need to remind myself that I really can’t. How do I maintain the right mindset without feeling like an ADDICT? Is that even possible?

Re: Need Help Maintaining The Right Mindset. 05 Mar 2019 17:01 #339407

  • EscapeArtist
  • Current streak: 140 days
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 85
  • Karma: 3
I'm still new to the SA business, but I believe that working the steps helps us be able to be in normal situations without turning them into lust parties.
So while at the moment crossing the street may be a good idea, I don't think you will need to do so forever, if you are working the program.
i used to need to avoid certain secretaries at all costs, but now (after 2 months sobriety BH) I feel like I can take care of business with them, w/o feeling the need to take care of business with myself after...

You should have much הצלחה! Keep up the good work!

Re: Need Help Maintaining The Right Mindset. 13 Mar 2019 00:21 #339584

  • ColinColin
  • Current streak: 140 days
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 283
  • Karma: 5
Don't hate yourself for being an addict.
Love yourself because you can control your behaviour.
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