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Sounds like a tough situation. I had something similar although from the sounds of things it doesn't seem like it was anywhere near as intense as what your'e going through. First of all I have to congratulate you on cutting off ties with that person. It's most definitely a tough yet necessary first step to dealing with the situation. I'm not sure if its only lust or a combination of lust & having had a connection with someone else and I feel like its more the second option. My personal experience has been that the more time passes, the more energy I put into my current life, and the more I focus on building a stronger relationship with my wife the more these past relationships fade into the past. Its remembering and living in the past that makes it hard. In any case, I wish you tons of clarity and hatzlacha in dealing with your struggles

I'm not sure about "falling in love" with someone else, but I can say that I work in an environment that is majority women and I have often felt a 'lust' or an extremely strong physical attraction towards certain women there - some of whom are married with children - as well as towards single young women who work there as well. It's really, really difficult, especially being one of the few males around. I've struggled with hir-hurim sometimes and have tried to push them out of my head, but it's a very difficult thing being around such people daily. I am also not sure how to deal with it. For the time being it is my job and even if I go somewhere else in the future I am sure I will be around other women as well. In the goyishe world sometimes people can't control their lusts and just go and have all out affairs with co-workers and others, but we are held to a higher standard...I am in no way anywhere near that but it is a daily challenge dealing with such attractions...

Growing up not frum I also had a brief friendship / acquaintanceship / borderline possible romance with a non-Jewish young woman who lived abroad...long story there...she now lives in the U.S. from what I understand and I've sometimes thought about what it would be like to reconnect with her and start things anew. But I'm married now, so again it's more like in the realm of a hirhur and it's not something I would ever really do. I've disconnected from all social media to try to distance myself from past individuals like this.

The natural attraction between man and woman is likely one of the most complicated issues that human beings face in life. 

ehrliche.bochur wrote on 15 Jul 2018 12:13:

Yes, kind of.

The way I approach it is by writing down the pros and cons. Sometimes I want to go back fifteen years and pursue a totally different life. Write down how your day to day feelings would be different. For example, I would have no kids to play with. Do I like the feelings I get from my kids better than the ones I would gave had in the alternate universe?

If you're young and you have never been in love before it must be pretty hard. But know that young people idealize love. In reality that kind of love doesn't really exist long term.

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I feel for you. Sounds like a tough situation. Definitely its a good idea to speak to others that have already went through these struggles. Having social interaction does worlds for helping with depression and feeling down. This is especially true if you give to others. Hashem should steer you in the right direction and give you all the help you need

Please do not stop medications cold turkey. These meds need a weaning off process. All issues regarding medication should be dealt with under the guidance of a doctor. May Hashem give you simchas hachaim and a yeshua from all the various challenges.

iif you cannot afford medication I believe there are funds specifically allocated for this purpose speak to your rav/rebbe/mentor He may be able to help. However, I have a different problem I neglect myself because I don't care enough about myself; which is a problem on its own. you may or may not have that.
I, like HHM, do very very very strongly advise you not to stop your meds on your own, if my experience means anything. I tried to stop on my own with absolutely the worst consequences. Thank God for gye (and HHM).
as far as your first post being emotionally involved with a woman. I can relate I many times want such a connection or I convince myself that I'm involved after I ask a women directions. In my case I am a love cripple which to me means that I'm not only looking for lust in women I also want them to love me in a way that I lacked growing up. because I didn't get it growing up and because I don't feel whole because of my guilt. from your description that's what it sounds like to me.
best of luck