Serenity123 wrote on 23 May 2018 01:01:
Hi,
I am 22 and on my way to graduate university. I am in SA for 5 month and experiencing the light of recovery and healing, I have been sober since I joined with hashem's help. I am posting because I am struggling today. I oversleep to try and go through the days without living them and it changed my sleep cycle, I wake up at 12pm with low motivation. I have a lot of studying to do and I stand to lose a bit of money if I dont pass some tests at the end of this month but I cannot be productive. When I start studying my heart hates it and my whole body goes out of balance, and my mind goes to lust. For some reasons I am powerless over studying, I cannot study like other people and my negative trait of character of laziness kicks in to take advantage of it. I am grateful to be sober and I am grateful to not be alone. When I was in active addiction I would push myself to study/work and cram through it until it was too much and I needed to escape into lust. I cannot do this anymore, I am willing to give up the potential of earning more money even though I am capable of it to avoid risking my sobriety because if I lose my sobriety I will not have money for a long time, my addiction cost me a lot of money to date and a lot of crippling guilt and shame. I want to be free and loved, not hiding in my own darkness. I am grateful for this forum and all the lights it brings into my life, I am not alone anymore and it makes me feel understood, I am learning to receive love. I love you my dear brothers in recovery may Hashem help us all
So sorry to hear about your pain.
I know that there is a fellowship of
Oversleepers Anonymous that currently holds meetings once a week by phone.
It would be worthwhile to try it out.
I will PM you with the info.
Haztzlacha with all your endeavors!
