;D ;D ;D ;D

Thank you, I needed that! :D

Yesterday, walking down the street, my eyes started following someone passing. Looked away after a few seconds, then took my glasses off to avoid temptation, distance myself. I should also have thought of removing myself from a situation where i need to be powerful.

I keep trying to rmeind myself of what Steve and some others here keep saying. No matter how woman dress, or why, the real truth is not what the outside world believes. I don't have a right to look wherever i want, at whoever I want. It's that simple. 

KUTGW!!!!

Thanks, Sci! Thanks for dropping by!

Working on being careful when I walk in the street. Realizing that there's lots of stuff that I just don't need to waste any time or energy noticing.

And being happy to be clean.

Small post but in my mind an ACE!!  That is so true.

Sci Mentioned this on his thread recently, but I'm becoming aware that it's something that I need to focus on more. Being happy. Just that. Because no matter what's going on, no matter how out of control life may seem at time,s no matter how many reasons we may have to be down, the one choice we have is to be happy. It's important for our kids, our wives...but for ourselves, too. We need a happy place to be, and ultimately, we're the only ones who can provide a 24/7 happy home for ourselves. For myself.

So, no matter the reason, no matter the issue, being happy is always worthwhile.

Happiness is bliss.  Understanding G-d is amazing but happiness or true happiness is what makes me feel better.  Thanks for thinking about that and writing it.  Still one or the best thread on this whole website.  You can work on everything, but your own journey is the most important.  Keep on trucking my friend.

Thanks, Sci! Coming from you, that always means a lot!

Just posting to say that B"H, things are good. Still working on being happy, although it isn't always easy.

Keep moving, keep growing, keep smiling.

I've wanted to post this, but I've been busy/lazy. A recent PM from Yosef Hatzadik spurred me to action, though.

This has been a crazy year. I started out continuing my insane behaviors. Almost immediately, Hashem brought me help, and forced me to stop, or at least to pause. He also gave me a wonderful support group that included everyone here. And then, to top it all off, He helped me meet the right woman for me. I'm truly arriving at this rosh hashana in a very different place than the last one.

It kinda blows my mind, when I think about just how different everything is.

It also says something about just how much change we're capable of. We can make drastic changes, we can grow tremendously. And quicker than we believed possible.

All of us can. Me, you, everyone. And yes, you - you're reading this, thinking, "not me"? I mean you, too. It's scary to think about how much we can do, but it's there. Reaching for it isn't easy. Heck, I've seen it, I'm writing about it, and I don't know if I'll be able to do enough. But I know it's there. I've experienced it.

I really should make a list of everyone who's helped and given me chizuk. But honestly, I'd end up missing someone by accident. And truthfully, it's everyone here. Anyone who's ever been a part of GYE, even if they left before i got here, helped build this framework, and has  zchus in all the people growing here.

Let's make Hashem king, people.

Been doing some more thinking about being happy. I know that even when there are things to be happy about in life, I can still focus on the things that upset me, and i think that's the major problem, isn't it? There are always things that I can be happy about, but it's so easy to be distracted, and make myself unhappy. To convince myself that I have "valid" reasons for my frustration, my hurt.

I need to remind myself that the happy things are what i need to focus on. They're what's real.

silentbattle wrote on 19 Sep 2010 14:01:


I try to avoid thinking about whether I am happy. It makes me too upset.  : ???


But I get your point and it is appreciated. Thinking about being happy makes much more sense than getting vexed about not being happy enough, and you do seem to be focusing on doing what is good and right. So I'm definitely with you there! You seem to trust that doing that will, eventually, make you happy....and I agree.

But I like to remember that my happiness isn't only a state-of-being, which is something I can work on - it is also a mood. And moods can be fickle, weird, and often(I believe) uncontrollable. And I recently discovered that after a big loss, R"l, the feeling of sadness can come on quite unexpectedly. I need not trouble myself to uncover the trigger every time. Giving myself the space to feel sad once in a while is just part of being human, I guess. With time, it goes away, at least in my case.

Of course, if my general state-of-being/attitude are screwed up, then I will have those 'moods' much more often....and that'd be a problem. 

Exactly - there are certain situations in which it's normal to be sad - in fact, if we weren't, it would be problematic. However, there are many more situations in which we have every reason to be happy, but yet, I'm not. I can find reasons to be unhappy, and often, I do. And they might be "valid" reasons, things that frustrate or hurt me, ways in which my world is imperfect. But I still get to choose whether I'll allow those things to make me unhappy, or if I will be happy anyway.

And i agree - constantly thinking about whether or not I'm happy isn't necessarily a good thing. The problem is that right now, I tend to think a lot about how unhappy i am. Instead, I want to work, not on thinking about happiness, but on just being happy.

All the time? Maybe not, but certainly as a baseline state.

Does that make sense? What are your thoughts? Any advice?

How I measure happiness is did my day go the way I wanted it?  Am I alive?  Are my wife and kids well?  AM I still sober?  That is happiness when you ask yourself easy questions to ask because it makes it easier to be happy when you answer them honestly.  Look my business is terrible and am trying one last ditch effort to make it go before I have to find one.  However, overall I am happy.  Overall I am a much better person that I was.  And most important I found G-d again.  Everyday you pray or talk to G-d is a happy one.  I am really trying to live.  Live your life and you shall be happy.  Don't get caught in the traps or pitfalls of life, live it. 

Lastly, being upset is not a bad thing.  It is a feeling we all get.  Finding the way to overcome it is key.  As always I know you silentbattle will find a way to overcome it.  Think about where you have been and where you are now.  I bet your happier now then you were then when you joined this website.  Think about that.  Go back and read your journey.  Go back and see how much you have helped others.  Read your posts to others.  You will feel happy just off of that cause you changed and helped other look at their own lives and helped them change.  You sure have helped me more then you know.  Go read in good health and happiness SB. 

Ditto mr sci i also looked over the posts in my thread how much you helped me.
Thanks

I've been getting this feeling inside me recently. Kinda thinking, well, I've been clean for a while now, I guess I have this thing beat. I can move on, don't have to worry about it anymore!"

And that's a big mistake, for many reasons. 1) It means I think I can't fall, so I let my guard down. 2) It means I think that I'm smart enough to avoid making stupid mistakes, no matter what situations I find myself in, no matter how stressful life might get; 3) It means I'm forgetting that the danger isn't just from big mistakes. It's small mistakes too, like a second glance, or being selfish and insensitive.

thanks for the reminder