Reb Honest Mouse - we're all learning, and we're all working on continuing to grow. It's always nice to hear people's opinions on my thoughts (especially when they're positive opinions).

Mom - I know.  You (and yours) have been with me throughout. I honestly don't think I'd be here today without you guys, and your support at lots of key moments.

Dov- I admit to looking at the horizons, but the longer I stay, the more I realize the value of one day at a time, one step at a time. And thank you - I think you just paid the highest compliment of all!

Bards - I'm totally up for the reunion...I still have a few parties I owe you guys, and I'd be happy to sponsor a bottle of woodford (and a bottle of wine for Dov). Of course, you guys are both much more senior than I am...

Thanks, Briut - but I'd always welcome your input! And despite what other people here may think, for me, I can sometimes use a pat on the back. Encouragement from good, caring friends, can be useful.

silentbattle wrote on 31 May 2010 16:09:

SB, I hate to 'fess up to another aspect of keeping my "pat on the back" comments to a minimum. But...

Given my own situation, I fear that... too much effort to deepen friendships with the guys here could possibly revive certain socializing skills with guys in ways that would NOT help my GYE work. While the folks here are just virtual friends without real life contact, sharpening my small talk skills with guys might not be a good idea for me. So I keep it simple. No e-chat with members, no KUTGW posts, etc. Kapish? Thanks.

Briut wrote on 31 May 2010 16:57:


Thumbs up to you Briut...

Gotcha.

Always good to hear your input, though...

I like hearing from you,too, SB.

[I'm recalling the tips they give on how to tell what kind of 'thinker/learner' you are. Visual thinkers will "see your point." Auditory thinkers will "hear from you." Kinesthetic thinkers will want to "stay in touch." (Or were those the lust abusers who stayed in touch? )] Anyhow, thanks for understanding.

Absolutely - thank you for being open about your reasons.

In other news, stress is running high by me, albeit for good reasons...but I'm still smiling, and davening to hashem.

Mom - just thinking about what you said before, and it's true...this addiction really has made me re-examine myself, and even areas that I'd worked on previously, but needed more work, got my attention. And furthermore, there were activities (i.e., being mz"l) that I'd been involved in for years, and that's unhealthy. But I don't know if I ever would have stopped, except that I fell lower - which allowed me to grow more than I would have otherwise!

Can't say I'm happy with where I've been. But I'm happy with where the road I've taken, has led me.

silentbattle wrote on 01 Jun 2010 04:41:


Beautifully put SB.
The words of a true Baal Teshuvah with the right perspective.



That should be added as part of your signature quote!

silentbattle wrote on 01 Jun 2010 04:41:


great line sb! that really sums it all up, Hashem gave us this 'coz its what can really propel us forward and let us grow to heights we would otherwise be unable to reach (maybe we can understand 'kol hagodol machaveiro yitsro godol heymeinu' in a new light - that the greater yetser caused the godol meichaveiro ie. behind every great man is a great yetser...) i look forward to be able to join you there 6 months down the road...

Thanks, guys (and gals)!

I marvel, and I wonder at hashem's plans.

As far as adding it to my signature, I have to see if there's room...and if not, what else I should consider taking off to replace with this.

SB i love post # 681, especially those lines

Looking back, I see that I was wrong. My unhealthy outlook, my unhealthy behavior, made me think that I needed that drug. And yes, it was "fun" - but living without it, being truly clean, is a far happier lifestyle. Had someone told me this a years ago, I might not have believed them, and so I can't really expect others to believe me. But for myself, I know this to be true, and I need to remind myself of it, in case I ever start to forget.

cheers to u for doing the hard work i hope it will pay off for u very soon, wish u a good one

JIP - I can't expect others to believe me, because it's hard to see when you're caught. But I would hope that those who are caught, and miserable in their current state, might hear my words (along with the words of many other people here who've said pretty much the same thing), and accept them, even if they're hard to believe.

I have news. Big news.

I get a mazal tov.

When I first started dealing with my issues, I stopped dating for a while. It wasn't easy, giving up on my drug while simultaneously putting any chance of long-term matrimonial happiness on hold, but it was the right thing to do, and I knew it, even then. Didn't make it easy, though.

I recently started dating again, and, well...I just got engaged!

The clarity of hashem's help in this is simply amazing. For most of my life, I gave in to lust, on one level or another. It took a major fall for me to get where I am - aware that being free of lust is a good thing. And as soon as I got there, I was apparently ready to get married, and so hashem sent me the right girl.

The dating process wasn't always easy, and it wasn't always fun. But I feel confident that I'm making the right choice. And that the effort I put in was way worth it.

WOW.
NOTHING ELSE TO SAY.
EXCEPT, OF COURSE, MAZEL TOV.
... and a big round of wonderment for Hashem and all His marvelous ways.

May you be zoche to build a bayis ne'eman b'yisroel. Good show, old chap.

Wow MAZAL TOV! congratulations! now there is added incentive to keep going! so...keep going!  ;D everyone at GYE is very happy for you! Keep it up, great news!

Wow SB,

We have been in some sort of non verbal contact for a while and this is truly amazing news. I am very happy for and wish you and your future Kallah an enormous mazal tov! I hope you guys build a house of Torah, Avodah and Gemilas Chasadim. It is truly amazing to see where you have come and where your future lies for the potential you have to build a family.

Mazal Tov!

-Yiddle