Sigh...so, let's see. How am I doing? Busy, that's for sure. Mostly content, happy with life.

But sometimes, i feel bored, a little down, and my mind drifts. Sometimes I have trouble keeping my eyes away from women in the street. I think about how much fun it would be to flirt. I fantasize about women.

And I've gotta remember, as I keep saying, that keeping away from lust is not, Not, NOT a limitation. It's an opportunity for freedom!

And I've also gotta be willing to get up and walk away when I start feeling bored and restless.

your insights are a constant reminder of how great each of us can be. thanks for the update SB!

Had a random situation where i realized that 7 months ago, I would have used as a chance to do some wrong things...now, I just smiled and politely said, "no thank you."

Thank you Hashem!

Otherwise, though, I still have a long, long way to go.

B"H for helping out SB and helping him be a shining example for us!
SB, keep going!

Thank you - Sturrgle, Shlomo, everyone else - I don't think I'd be where I am today without you.

wonderful to say, no thank you!  KUTGW!

Was on the train tonight, and found myself noticing girls...thinking about flirting with them, starting conversation, or even just smiling. I had to remind myself that's not who I am anymore.

It felt kinda strange. Being in the same situation, and just ignoring the urge to do something...harder than avoiding the situation entirely.

Ignoring it doesn't work for me. I gotta replace it with something. I use praying for them, a gratitude list, just plain talking with Him, or the adventure of finding another train car...the latter is by far the weakest choice, but can be illegal and hence, more fun!

Well, I always have an ipod...so I can listen to music. But I guess you're talking about an action specifically set to counter the urge.

silentbattle wrote on 13 May 2010 05:27:


You are reaching the ULTIMATE level of teshuvah! Being in the same situation with a different outcome!

We are sooo jealous of your level!!  ;D

I wish I didn't feel the pull that way.

Pull, schmull.

From my experience in situations like those, there's discomfort in recognizing that you're not in control of those feelings. I'm not talking about your reactions to those feelings - those you may be in control of. I'm talking about the initial feelings of the "pull". So dig a little bit and let the pop-psychologist in you figure out why that discomfort is there.

Thanks, Dov :D

Commando - good point. I guess I'd like to be past that point.

It was also a bit weird, kinda standing outside myself, seeing the feelings pull me, and actually beign able to respond the way i wanted. Not perfectly, but much better than I might've.

Hey SB,
that's still huge!
No one is expecting you to be 100% overnight or even a handful of overnights.
It's a journey and you're on it!