Woke up this morning,  I'd been living in the past,
Didn't know what time it was, and I was too tired to ask,
Tired of yesterdays, I've got to finally get away,
I'll break these rusty chains and try to find today...

CHORUS: Heard you came around here, looking for someone,
Heard you came around here, looking for me,
Well, I hate to tell you that he doesn't live here anymore,
I hate to tell you that's no longer me.

Walking towards the future, my shadows stay in front of me,
They look familiar 'cause I've been with them so long,
Turning to the sun now, I realize it's in front of me,
Though it was casting shadows, realized I was wrong...

CHORUS: Heard you came around here, looking for someone,
Heard you came around here, looking for me,
Well, I hate to tell you that he doesn't live here anymore,
I hate to tell you that's no longer me.

(Bridge): You're knocking at my door, I'm nowhere to be found,
No forwarding address, I'm simply not around,
You're standing at my door, you're standing there alone,
You're knocking at that door, but I'm not home!

CHORUS: Heard you came around here, looking for someone,
Heard you came around here, looking for me,
Well, I hate to tell you that he doesn't live here anymore,
I hate to tell you that's no longer me.

Funny, SB, but if I'm reading (singing?) you correctly, you're telling the Y'H that you are unreachable and that he should leave both dejected and confused.

Nice thought.

Thought I'd tweak you with one add'l thought, if you don't mind.

That scenario would require ME leaving my old digs and MOVING to somewhere new. Sometimes a good idea, especially if the carpet's getting kinda worn and the landlord doesn't turn up the heat.

But sometimes I want to think that I am the MASTER in my own home and that the Yetzer has no business trying to come in without a warrant. Which, of course, he can never have.  I love those stories about some guy banging on a door all night but never being allowed in, because the man inside says "I AM THE BAAL HA'BUSS AND I DON'T HAVE TO LET ANYONE IN I DON'T WANT."

So, maybe there's more than one way to sing this song. If I've got you correctly (and could be, not), you'd rather go hide. I'd rather stay in my own daled amos and simply not let anyone in the door. Different strokes, different folks.

Just a thought.  Glad you sound like you're doing well.  - Briut

ACE if you ask me.  KUTGW!!  Glad you shared that.  I love the thought you are not there.

I'd actually rather it not be an ACE - I don't mind sharing it with the people who read my thread, but don't necessarily need it being opened up by anyone who's signed up (or been signed up) for the chizuk emails 

One of the great things about music is that everyone can take what they need from it. To me, the song has a slightly different twist - so often, we've grown, and we've really grown past certain habits we have - and yet, the habit can still remain. So we need to remind ourselves that we're not where we were anymore, that's no longer who we are. I'm sorry, sir, but you have the wrong number. So I don't have to deal with...whatever! And this can apply to any unhealthy behavior or issue.

great point SB

Nice SB...

Keep Keep it up....

silentbattle wrote on 15 Mar 2010 15:14:


Quite impressive!!

Is your goal to try and keep your mind otherwise occupied, thereby not leaving the time and space for bad thoughts to enter? Or is this just natural, off-the-cuff, musings?

Actually, I wrote this song a while ago - I don't have much time for song-writing these days, for better or worse. Got the "busy" thing covered!  :D

Random thank you for today - to everyone here on GYE! You make me realize things about my sutrggle that I might've missed otherwise! Without you, I probably wouldn't even consider second glances on the street to be a problem. Today, I've been working at not even glancing once. Not always succeeding, but I'm working on it.

I love you - all of you!

silentbattle wrote on 16 Mar 2010 21:57:


Beautiful to see how you sets up boundaries and aren't fooling yourself!
One of my Rabbeim from Eretz Yisroel always said "the second look is the problem"
For us here especially, we can't afford even that 1st look ,  good job silent !

Bestrong

Thanks, Bestrong!

Life is a bit confusing right now, and I seem to have a lot on my plate. Some good, some...well, also good, I'm sure, but just harder to see the good in  ;D

Working on not listening too much to my neediness and insecurities. It's tough, but I hope that I can follow through with it, because it's worth it!

Davening the dust settles soon and clarity returns for everything...

silentbattle wrote on 18 Mar 2010 16:05:
silentbattle wrote on 18 Mar 2010 16:05:

Dear Silent battle ninja dude,
It would make me happier to know that you remembered to smile at least one every day, and say to Hashem: "Thanks for _______, Hashem. I love you so much."
Cuz you are worth it!
It would just make me happier, that's all.
Bye!

Well, today, I smiled (right now), and said, "Thanks for Dov, Hashem. You love me so much!" And then I thought about it and said, "and I love you so much, too!"

Good idea!

Thanks, Mom! I hope so, too!

have a good shabbos, all!

B"H, things have been a little less stressful - thank you, hashem!

Still have some urges, but working on them. When i walk down the street, i try to remind myself that I honestly have no reason to look at women even once - the only reasons i have for it aren't very good ones! I mean, if i was a CIA agent, then I could say that I was scanning their faces to see if I recognized anyone from agency files on enemy spies - but as of now, that doesn't apply to me, so I need to just not look.

OMG! Your'e right! What will all the CIA agents among us do!?