I'd be there if I was closer.

IT - absolutely! Whenever you're over this way, let me know, and we'll totally work something out! Sci, you too!

You guys have been with me since the beginning, and you're always invited over!

In other news, keeping busy, staying clean. Noticed myself being a little too friendly to a woman at work, will put effort into being polite, but professional. Not friendly.

Great you noticed you might have crossed a line.  Keep trucking!!!  Have a great Shabbos!!!!

Kollel Guy wrote on 28 Jan 2010 16:45:


KG, it's in my thread.  Going back and reading your own thread lets you understand all you have been through much better.  It really gave me a huge sense of we really are here for your ownself too, not just for everyone else. 

silentbattle wrote on 29 Jan 2010 15:46:
Sb............uh..............did i ever tell you that your king?? I mean im not sure if i can remember?? I would go back and read your thread, but i think sci says too go back and read our own threads. no sci??

I think reading our own threads is great.  It helps me a ton.  It helps me understand everything better.

IT's just playing with you, Sci Yes, IT - I think you have mentioned it a time or 3. OK, it was just one time - you're welcome to mention it again, though! ;D

And I'll even accept it, on one condition - when you come in to shmutz la'aretz, you take over as king.

In other news...I need to go into the city tomorrow, and was thinking about whether I should take the train, or drive. Advantage of driving - cheaper, generally quicker. Advantage of train - don't have to worry about traffic, can read during the trip, don't have to worry about parking, and can check out/flirt with girls on the train...ah. OK, taking my car :D Thanks, Y"H, for making things clear!

Glad your decided on car.  Hope you had a wonderful shabbos. 

It's worth every enny you have to pay on gas!    When you get 'up-there' after 120, you'll smile for every drop of gas that went into that engine!

Just watch-out for those billboards, they can be deadly. Just try to remember that the girl doesn't come with the car, just remember that.

What?! Really???? >  :D :D :D

It's actually cheaper to drive. The worry is 1) traffic, and 2) parking. And considering that I'm going to my therapist, every minute late is a few dollars. SO hopefully, no major issues on either of those counts.

Thanks, Sci - yeah, shabbos was nice. Glad to hear that yours was, too!

Hope your day was good.  KOT!!!

Thanks, Sci - today was a good day. Some frustrating stuff, but staying clean. My one or two nights a week to sleep on a normal bed, and for various reasons, i can't get a good night's sleep (that's right, I work at a cot company, I test out their products - I have to make sure that the cots are uncomfortable. If I can sleep more than 4 hours straight, they discontinue the line). Plus a bunch of other things.

But I'm still here. And I'm still me.

So, after my meeting with my therapist today, I'm supposed to be thinking about different aspects of a maintenance program, and it's purposes. I'm tired right now, but I'll give it a start - obviously, open to hearing more ideas.

The goal...to stay clean. No, more than that. To continue to grow. To be aware of my issues, and not let them rule my life.

To surrender to hashem - which I take to mean, not even getting involved with things that toe the line, and are battles, which would require me to be powerful (not powerless) and in control.

To build a support system, of friends (GYE is a start, but getting more offline) and mentors, that can help me continue to grow.

Making sure that i'm living life, and not giving in to my sickness, not listening to the emptiness, loneliness, and neediness.

OK, that's a start...

I'm here for you for tha offline part. PM me if you want my number

Just remember to take it minute by minute and stay positive.  Try and take things slow and not get overwelmed with everything you think you should be doing.  Giving all to G-d and living and a support system are all things you have been working on.  Go back and read your thread!!!  I know you can do it!!  Keep on trucking!!!  It's the only thing you can do!!  I'm here for you my friend as are many others.